When you’re expecting, there are countless things you might want to do freely in public, but most of them are best done behind closed doors. While you’d love to indulge in these activities, doing so in public could lead to awkward stares or, worse, a run-in with the law. Here’s a lighthearted look at some of those forbidden desires:
- Cool Down Your Lady Parts: If you’ve ever dealt with swollen labia or pelvic discomfort during the third trimester, you know the urge to grab a bag of frozen peas from the grocery store and apply it directly to your groin. Sadly, public opinion might not be on your side.
- Shout Your Bathroom Struggles: There comes a point in pregnancy when the urge to relieve yourself feels monumental. But yelling, “I JUST NEED TO GO!” from a public restroom stall might not earn you any friends.
- Slather on Soothing Cream: When your nipples feel like they’re on fire, the last thing you want is to discreetly apply cream in a crowded room. But, alas, the world isn’t ready for a breast cream application in public.
- Top Off Your Hemorrhoids at Work: While it’s tempting to relieve discomfort during a meeting, applying hemorrhoid cream in front of colleagues isn’t something that would be well-received.
- Embrace Nudity: Maternity clothes can feel constricting, and sometimes you just want to be free and naked. Unfortunately, public nudity is not a socially acceptable option.
- Let It Rip: Pregnancy leads to increased gas, yet you find yourself holding in those loud farts. If only society would let you be as free as you feel at home!
- Neglect Grooming: While some days you might feel like giving up on personal care entirely, it’s probably not a good idea to go too far. If friends start suggesting a Hazmat suit for visits, it’s time to reconsider.
- Snack on Others’ Plates: Pregnancy hunger can hit like a freight train, but raiding someone else’s meal at a restaurant is a sure way to get kicked out.
- Seek Vaginal Discharge Advice from Strangers: When the confusion of discharge strikes, it’s tempting to ask random people for their opinions, but it’s best to keep those questions to your doctor or partner.
- Get Frisky in Public: If your libido is soaring during pregnancy, the desire to get intimate can be overwhelming. However, indulging in some morning action on a public breakfast bar is likely pushing it.
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In summary, while pregnancy brings a host of changes and desires, societal norms often keep us from indulging in those whims in public. Embracing the reality of these restrictions can help you navigate the journey with a touch of humor.