Recently, I sat through a mandatory HR training session at work, and one topic caught my attention: age discrimination. The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) protects individuals aged 40 and older from unfair treatment based on age. Wait a minute—I now have legal backing for being in my 40s? I still crack up at silly jokes; how can I be “old”? It’s amusing how quickly life thrusts us into the realm of “middle age” without a hint of warning.
Physical changes are inevitable, and I get that. Yet, I swear some of these changes have outpaced a marathon runner. Let’s start with chin hairs. One morning, I woke up to discover that my once cute little chin hair from college had multiplied like rabbits. I now find myself looking like a goat. Seriously, do you know how much time I invest each week in chin hair grooming? Every time my partner steps into the bathroom, there I am perched on the counter, magnifying mirror in one hand, tweezers in the other. Or as we like to call it: foreplay.
Then there are the neck wrinkles. How did this happen? Is gravity literally trying to choke me? Did my head gain weight overnight, putting extra strain on my neck? Does anyone tackle this issue in their workout DVDs? Or are women fated to age like trees, counting the rings around their necks?
And let’s not forget about my hair. What once was a thick, flowing mane is now thinning faster than I imagined. I’ve even started taking prenatal vitamins in a desperate attempt to reverse the damage. Great idea if you enjoy being perpetually constipated. Maybe my hair has decided to take a vacation—perhaps to my chin?
It used to bother me when people would say, “You look so good for having three kids; you must work out.” This is known as a compliment sandwich—insult wrapped in praise. Why not just say, “You look good,” without the age or motherhood caveat? Trust me, I can still pack a punch even at 41—so tread lightly.
On the bright side, the perks of aging outweigh the need for wrinkle cream. I used to care so much about others’ opinions. Did I offend someone? Did they like me? But now? I’m comfortable in my skin and know the value I bring to relationships. Other than my close friends and family, I genuinely don’t care about anyone else’s judgment. This newfound freedom is utterly liberating.
I embrace my quirks now. I’m an open book, brutally honest, and I overshare like it’s my job. This is why my friends come to me for advice. No judgment here—just laughter and maybe a good Pinot. I used to apologize for everything, fearing confrontation. Now, I only apologize if I’m genuinely in the wrong. I refuse to apologize for my obsession with Nicolas Cage or for reading just the left side of a book to my toddler to speed up bedtime. And yes, I’ll spend time and money on annual girls’ trips with my best friends until we’re old and gray. I’m ready to channel my inner Blanche from Golden Girls—no apologies there!
I’m more inclined to take risks now. Playing it safe doesn’t suit me anymore. I’ve started writing and even signed up for my first marathon. Yes, I was passed by a man in his 60s during a race last summer, but that won’t deter me. I walk around naked in front of my partner now, something I’d have never done in my youth. I used to worry about every little detail, like a dimple on my backside. But you know what? My partner is just thrilled to see a naked woman.
I’ve also become more selfish with my time. I realize its worth. A recent exchange with my 11-year-old daughter perfectly sums up my fabulous 41-year-old self:
Her: “Mom, I need a dessert for my class party.”
Me: “I’ll grab something from Target.”
Her: “But all the other moms are making desserts!”
Me: “Good for them. I work full-time and have three kids. My time is precious.”
Her: “But you’re watching TV!”
Me: “Well observed! But right now, it’s all about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Also, could you get me a glass of wine?”
Lastly, I take things with a grain of salt. I’ve witnessed terrible tragedies in my life, which has given me clarity on what truly matters. Just last week, my 9-year-old son yelled, “Mom, Gavin pooped on the kitchen floor!” Sigh. Potty training issues. But then he added, “Never mind, the dog ate it.” Problem solved—and I didn’t even have to put down my wine glass.
In conclusion, aging brings its fair share of challenges, from unexpected chin hairs to thinning hair and neck wrinkles. Yet, with age comes wisdom, confidence, and a refreshing perspective on life. Embrace the quirks, celebrate the laughter, and know that you’re not alone in this journey.
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