It’s your big day. You and your partner stand before friends and family, trying to avoid any slip-ups while simultaneously losing track of what you’re actually saying. Meanwhile, the audience is mostly distracted, contemplating the reception menu and regretting their wardrobe choices. But does it really matter if anyone is fully engaged? Traditional wedding vows often lack substance, which is why people tune out; after all, how many times can you hear “to have and to hold” before it loses its meaning? What if couples made vows that were a tad more realistic and relatable to the ups and downs of married life?
Honest Wedding Vows
I vow to embrace every stretch mark, varicose vein, and rogue hair without making snarky remarks about the 15 (or maybe 50?) pounds that might come with the years.
I promise to find you undeniably attractive, even in the face of hair loss.
I vow to respect your privacy and keep the bathroom door closed while doing my business.
I promise to limit complaints about the in-laws, unless they truly cross the line.
I vow to manage my backseat driving tendencies, or at least make an effort.
I pledge to notify you if you have something stuck in your teeth.
I promise to curb my jealousy unless there’s evident flirting involved, because “Are you sure? That seemed like flirting to me.”
I vow to share household chores equally, even the less glamorous tasks like cleaning out the drain.
I promise not to complain about your splurges while secretly indulging myself.
I vow to be honest with you, except maybe when it comes to questions like, “Do I look old?”
I promise not to monopolize the blankets.
I vow to acknowledge that we will both evolve over time and to try to adapt gracefully.
I promise to compromise on TV choices, even when your taste in shows is questionable.
I vow to manage my grooming habits so that I don’t accidentally injure you.
I promise to keep the space tidy, without leaving hair trimmings or nail clippings around.
I vow to discuss any new pets before bringing them home.
I promise to be attentive to your needs, especially when chocolate is a must-have.
I vow never to leave you without toilet paper.
I promise to plan occasional date nights (where we swear not to discuss the kids, but inevitably do).
I vow to gently point out any questionable fashion choices you might make, like wearing a fanny pack.
I promise to be patient during your off days, as long as you’re not consistently unkind.
I vow to support you in our parenting choices instead of undermining you behind your back.
I promise to step outside if the gas gets particularly unpleasant.
I vow never to mix toast crumbs into the butter or jelly.
I promise to erase from memory any unflattering moments I’ve witnessed, like throwing up or childbirth.
I vow not to ignore overflowing trash bins.
I promise to keep nagging to a minimum.
I vow to do little things to brighten your day.
I promise to cherish the person you were while loving the person you’ve become.
I vow to focus on the positives in our relationship, even during turbulent times.
The Importance of Realistic Vows
Traditional vows can feel overly simplistic. What does “to have and to hold” really mean? They present an idealistic view from the altar, but vows that reflect real-life experiences better prepare couples for the journey of marriage—a beautiful, exhausting, and multifaceted adventure that goes far beyond “to love and to cherish.” For more information on pregnancy and the journey of home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and our post on privacy policies. If you’re interested in navigating the path to parenthood, visit Make a Mom, an authority on the topic.
Conclusion
In summary, wedding vows need to reflect the reality of married life, encompassing both the whimsical and the mundane. By promising to embrace each other’s flaws and idiosyncrasies, couples can foster a deeper connection that stands the test of time.