Why is it that the only individuals in my home who seem to need rest never actually get it? When bedtime rolls around, you won’t find me shuffling around the house, dragging my feet to prolong the inevitable. For parents, turning in before 10 p.m. feels like hitting the jackpot—but not for my little ones. As the clock approaches their bedtime, they unleash a burst of energy stronger than a Category 5 hurricane, tossing toys around like confetti until the room is a chaotic mess.
And then, when the designated hour finally arrives, it’s as if time stands still. This is the calm before the storm, where my children seem to move so slowly they might as well be going backward. Getting them to ascend the stairs is akin to herding cats away from a sunny spot. After enduring the endless ritual of brushing teeth and bathroom breaks, you’d think sleep would follow. But alas, we find ourselves back in the whirlwind.
Here are just a few of the things my kids do instead of sleeping:
- Asking for yet another glass of water.
- Requesting a snack, as if they hadn’t just eaten dinner.
- Sneaking out of their beds to create a makeshift fort in the living room.
- Suddenly appearing by my bedside, poking me in the eye, and asking if I’m awake.
- Declaring that they need a new set of pajamas.
- Repeatedly calling my name until I finally go upstairs, only to be greeted with a cheerful “Hi!”
- Tiptoeing into each other’s rooms to see if their sibling is still awake.
- Tattling on their siblings for not being asleep.
- Quietly joining us on the couch to watch our evening show.
- Asking for more water—again!
- Requesting an additional bedtime story, offering chocolate as a bribe.
- Announcing they need help in the bathroom, despite being fully potty trained for years.
- Choosing this moment to share the details of their day, as if it’s urgent.
- Calling for their dad just to send him to fetch me.
- Telling me not to leave because they have something important to discuss, which turns out to be “What’s your favorite color?”
- Attempting to sneak into the kitchen for more water themselves.
- Reminding me about a toy from our trip to the zoo three summers ago that they desperately want to find.
- Crying because I refuse to embark on a treasure hunt for that long-lost zoo toy.
- Chattering loudly while I rummage through bins, desperately seeking the elusive toy.
- Asking for yet another drink of water.
- Telling me it’s only four more sleeps until Friday, when popcorn is on the menu.
- Getting out of bed to search for the cats.
- Climbing into our bed and inquiring why we are sleeping.
- Asking if they can play on the iPad for just a little longer.
- Insisting they aren’t tired at all and don’t want to sleep.
Parents who have weathered the storm of toddler bedtime assure me that my kids will eventually sleep through the night, and one day, I will too. I find it hard to believe. After surviving sleepless nights with newborns, teething pains, and nightmares, I thought we’d be nearing the end of this sleep-deprived chapter. It feels like we’re still several years away from that blissful time—if it even exists. I haven’t entirely given up hope, but it seems winning the lottery might be more likely at this point.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to answer yet another question about my favorite color.
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Summary
Parenting often comes with the challenge of getting children to sleep. Despite the countless distractions and excuses that keep kids awake, it’s essential to navigate these moments with patience and humor. The journey through sleepless nights is a common one for parents, and while it feels endless, there is hope for eventual peace and quiet.