To the woman who deemed my IVF journey a sin,
First and foremost, let me clarify: I never sought your opinion. You, who share a similar upbringing steeped in Catholic values as I do, should reflect on the depths of sacrifice involved in my quest for motherhood. Have you even considered the countless needles I faced, the numerous procedures I endured, and the distressing visits to the ER while wracked with pain? Can you fathom the tears I shed during this emotional rollercoaster?
You, who casually conceived your first child after a single lapse in contraception, have you ever truly contemplated the struggles of someone grappling with infertility? Do you understand what it feels like when your body betrays the very heart that longs for a child?
Have you ever experienced the heartbreak of staring at yet another negative pregnancy test, only to rummage through the trash an hour later, desperately hoping for a miracle? Each child I carry is a product of profound love—between my husband and me, between hopeful parents and the dream of our family, between a mother and the vision of her future children. Do you believe that spending a minuscule amount of time in a lab diminishes that love?
Every flutter I felt from within me filled my heart with gratitude. I nourished them, sharing nutrients, oxygen, and even a heartbeat. When I cradle them now, our hearts sync in a rhythm that speaks volumes of our bond. Can you even begin to grasp the depth of my love for them, and the love they return?
You claimed that my condition was “part of a bigger plan,” yet have you considered that meeting the remarkable professionals at the fertility clinic could also be part of that plan? Would you ignore a child’s accident, chalking it up to “fate” instead of calling for help?
You stated it was immoral to pursue every possible avenue to conceive. The reality is, many infertility cases are treatable medical conditions. If a loved one suffered from a curable illness, would you encourage her to forgo treatment? Would you counsel her to accept her fate and let the illness take its course while compassionate caregivers stand ready to help?
You criticized me for allegedly discarding “weak” embryos, but I assure you that I refused to let even the lowest-graded embryos go. The embryos not transferred back to me are treated with utmost respect and care, safely stored with the potential to help us or another couple in need of a miracle.
You accused me of taking life for granted, but do you know how many tears I shed for every egg that didn’t mature, every embryo that faltered, and every transfer that failed? I lit candles, prayed, and wept until my vision blurred.
Now, look at my children—my beautiful, vibrant miracles born of love. They light up any room and bring smiles even to the heaviest of hearts. Listen to the way they call me “Mama,” as if sharing a cherished secret. Watch them find joy in the simplest of moments, and delight in the wonders of the world around them.
Feel their small, dirt-covered hands grasping yours in an innocent embrace of trust. You can label me a sinner, and I won’t dispute it. I am human, flawed, and I acknowledge my mistakes. However, being a mother is not one of them.
In conclusion, the path I chose may not align with your beliefs, but it is drenched in love and hope. If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of infertility and its treatments, I encourage you to visit this resource for pregnancy and home insemination. For those considering at-home options for fertility, check out this reputable online retailer that offers quality insemination kits.
Leave a Reply