As a mom to toddlers aged 2 and 3, I’ve discovered that these challenging years, compounded by their close age difference, can be quite overwhelming. While every parent faces their own set of difficulties, it’s easy to feel like our struggles are the heaviest. In my case, the chaos of parenting led me to a point where I surrendered control. Rather than seeking guidance through books or meditation, I allowed my children to dictate our daily rhythms, embracing a permissive approach to parenting. What was the harm of letting them enjoy fruit snacks at 9 a.m. or binge-watching TV? I convinced myself it was harmless.
However, as the weeks passed, I realized I had inadvertently given up my role as the guiding parent. My children began to operate under the assumption that if they protested loudly enough, I would relent to their demands. I felt as though I was watching myself from a distance—weak, powerless, and frankly, embarrassed by my parenting choices.
It would have been simple to brush off this realization, labeling it as just a phase or a byproduct of my unique situation, like not driving in the Pacific Northwest. I told myself I was simply being a fun parent within my limitations. But deep down, I knew I was avoiding the essential lessons of discipline and boundaries that are integral to motherhood.
Months have passed since that eye-opening moment, and though the journey hasn’t been straightforward, I’ve started to retrain both myself and my children. The tangled web of disobedience and inconsistent rewards needed untangling, and I began by saying “no” more often—sometimes without justification—just to teach them that life doesn’t always cater to their desires. It was crucial for me to show them that, regardless of how much they may stomp or scream, the world won’t bend to their will.
I’ve realized that parenting is a careful balance of consent and refusal. There are still moments when I indulge my kids—not out of weakness, but because it feels good to occasionally spoil them. And yes, there are days when I feel as though the only word I utter is “no.” We are all learning together. I’m working to raise children who understand that their needs aren’t always the center of the universe and that my authority as a parent is valid. The mess I created is still being sorted through, but I am confident that I am doing what’s best for all of us.
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In summary, finding balance in parenting is an ongoing process that requires setting boundaries and saying “no” when necessary. Embracing discipline helps cultivate respectful children while allowing parents to reclaim their authority.