As a pediatrician, I’ve encountered a wide range of opinions about extended breastfeeding.
- “Stop nursing when they’re old enough to ask for it.”
- “After a certain age, it only benefits the mother.”
- “He won’t learn to be independent.”
- “Once he has teeth, you need to quit.”
- “It’s inappropriate.”
- “He’s too big; only infants should breastfeed.”
- “It’s just gross.”
These comments can be harsh, and I’ve heard them all. However, I’m not here to debate these viewpoints. Instead, I want to share my personal experience with my son, who is now 2 1/4 years old, and what breastfeeding signifies for us.
The other day, I noticed that when he nursed, my other breast leaked—a reminder of how nursing evolves over time. I’m no longer that leaky, milk-filled mess I was when he was born. My breasts have become softer and less full, allowing me to sleep comfortably on my stomach. Nursing bras are now a thing of the past, and I feel like my body is gradually reclaiming its independence.
Sometimes, he simply craves a cuddle in the middle of the night, while other times, he opts for a snack instead of our usual nursing session. Although he may not wean completely for a while, I can see the subtle shifts occurring.
I treasure these nursing moments, even as I feel a tinge of sadness watching them fade. Here are the reasons I continue breastfeeding:
- I nurse him because his big, expressive hazel eyes gaze into mine during those cozy, rainy afternoons.
- I nurse him because he curls his small, soft body into my lap, his legs playfully kicking towards my face.
- I nurse him because I nursed his older brother, who now needs me less each day, and I miss those moments of closeness.
- I nurse him because of the memories of watching my mother nurse my sister, where life felt slow and peaceful.
- I nurse him because it encourages me to pause, to take a break from the hustle.
- I nurse him because when he sweetly asks for “milkies, please,” his politeness warms my heart.
- I nurse him because of the rush of oxytocin that fills my body, bringing joy as he feeds.
- I nurse him because it allows us to enjoy leisurely mornings and extend our naps together.
- I nurse him because it’s an easy way to soothe him when he’s fussy, helping him sleep or preventing a tantrum.
- I nurse him because both of us want this connection, and I know our time is limited.
Not every moment of nursing is blissful; there are certainly times I wish he would just sleep quietly. When he pulls at my lips and eyelids at night, it can feel overwhelming. But then he drifts off to sleep, and I breathe in the scent of his hair, and it becomes just the two of us, sharing a gentle moment in the stillness of night.
I don’t believe every parent should nurse their toddler, and I understand that extended breastfeeding doesn’t align with everyone’s perception of parenting. That’s perfectly fine. However, for us, this is what feels right, and it reflects a shared experience with many mothers and children who share similar journeys.
This is our reality, our reasons, and our love.
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In summary, the decision to nurse my toddler is deeply personal, rooted in our unique bond and experiences. Though the path may not be for everyone, it feels right for us, and I cherish every moment.