In the wise words of Will Smith, “Parents just don’t understand.” When a trendy young adult transitions into parenthood, the aging clock can hit fast forward, impacting their youthful vibe at a fundamental level. No amount of trendy hair products, stylish outfits, or quotes from popular songs can halt the inevitable march toward middle age. If you relate to this, you might be experiencing what I like to call the “Aging Phenomenon.”
The initial signs of this phenomenon often come with a mix of disbelief and confusion. Who wants to face the reality of aging? But once you spot those silver strands multiplying on your head (or, even worse, on your living room carpet), you know you’re in the thick of it.
And the evidence doesn’t end there; here are some amusing indicators to watch for:
- You’ve developed a bit of a belly.
- You’ve traded in jeans for your daily uniform of T-shirts and yoga pants, the modern equivalent of a tracksuit.
- Dinner is now served at 4:30 or 5 p.m. because “the little ones need to eat.”
- You find yourself waking up before dawn.
- Your back is constantly sore.
- Your bust line seems to be migrating southward.
- Your ears appear to be growing, and your gums are receding just enough to make you chuckle at the phrase “long in the tooth.”
- Dairy is now your nemesis.
- You’ve got “the elevens”—those two stubborn lines between your brows that give you a constant resting face.
- One glass of wine makes you nod off on the couch by 8 p.m.
As you delve deeper into this “Aging Phenomenon,” the internal chaos can escalate. You might grapple with significant life choices, like whether to take up knitting or Zumba. You might even panic at the thought of needing adult diapers because of frequent sneezing.
Your thoughts may spiral into these amusing territories:
- You briefly contemplate the allure of being a ‘cougar.’
- You realize that mainly middle-aged moms loved “Fifty Shades of Grey,” and you wonder if you should donate your copy as evidence of your past.
- You find yourself in a panic over whether you’re experiencing premenopausal symptoms, about to get your period, or worse, is that a pregnancy scare?
- You used to think Johnny Depp was attractive, only to realize he’s aging too—does he belong to AARP now?
- You notice an unease about the revealing outfits worn by today’s young artists.
- You suddenly feel out of touch with the slang of younger generations, struggling to understand terms like “fleek” or “bae.”
- Naps begin to sound like the ultimate luxury.
- You contemplate embracing midlife crises with open arms.
- You may even consider taking a French cooking class, only to pivot and decide kickboxing is the better option.
- You ponder if intimacy improves with age, only to catch your partner slowly backing away.
Fortunately, there are preventive measures to help stave off these alarming signs of aging. As long as you steer clear of Classic Rock stations that play Nirvana and U2, and maintain a healthy distance from Spanx and elastic waistbands, you should be on the right track.
In the meantime, take a moment to relax. Perhaps grab a scoop of Rocky Road and let’s talk about the joys of parenthood, which you can also explore through our other posts, such as those on intracervical insemination or for guidance on navigating parenthood, check out Kindbody, an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Also, consider looking into Make a Mom’s BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit to simplify your journey into parenthood.
Summary:
Parenthood can accelerate the aging process, bringing about physical changes and existential dilemmas. As you navigate this transition, it’s essential to embrace the humorous side of aging while seeking resources to support your journey into parenthood.