I had a strategy in mind. I was prepared to discuss how regular intimacy can strengthen a relationship. I planned to outline all the reasons why I believe that being physically close with my partner is beneficial. After all, the more we connect, the happier we feel; the more sharing there is around the house; and the more we reminisce about those early days when life felt simpler.
“He’s so much more considerate when he’s well-loved,” I would assert. “It’s backed by research.” Our rhythm was predictable—intimacy every other day—but we liked to pretend it was spontaneous. “Oh, what a coincidence! We both ended up undressed in bed again, just two days after the last time!”
But then, life threw us a curveball. Not the typical challenges of parenthood, like sleepless nights or diaper disasters, but something far more intense—serious health issues, job transitions, and emotional upheaval that felt seismic.
In the face of such stress, I tend to retreat. My body reacts: my skin flares up, I develop canker sores, and my menstrual cycle becomes erratic, despite having undergone a procedure that was supposed to end my periods for good. My body, it seems, has its own agenda.
Even though I recognize that maintaining intimacy should be a priority for the sake of my relationship—alongside nurturing my children and practicing self-care—when life becomes overwhelming, intimacy quickly tumbles to the bottom of my list. By “quickly tumbles,” I mean it drops like a stone.
In a scientific sense, it makes sense; when I can barely remember to dress myself, can I really focus on intimacy? During these crises, sex is not just off the table; it’s off the menu entirely.
I braced myself for the unraveling of our marriage. I anticipated frustration, arguments, and building resentment.
But none of that happened. Instead, my partner was there. He massaged my shoulders and brought me coffee, enveloping me in a hug even when I couldn’t muster the energy to return it. He listened patiently as I shared my worries and fears without trying to offer solutions. He stepped up in countless ways, quietly managing tasks when I felt too overwhelmed to ask for help.
He took charge of the kids when I needed a moment to breathe. He handled phone calls, organized meals, and managed visitors. He simply stepped in, taking care of things without expecting anything in return.
I always thought that a robust sex life was the cornerstone of our marriage, but I came to realize that it was his willingness to serve that truly mattered. I didn’t fully appreciate how profound his love for me was until I saw him in the role of caretaker.
As it turns out, all those moments of intimacy have indeed paid off, but the real foundation lies in his unwavering support.
To learn more about navigating intimacy and relationships, you might find this article on intracervical insemination insightful. If you’re exploring home insemination options, Make a Mom provides excellent resources tailored for couples. For additional support and information on pregnancy and infertility, visit Mount Sinai’s resource page.
In summary, while intimacy is important, the true strength of a partnership often shines through in how partners support each other during difficult times.