A decade ago, I received the life-changing news that I was expecting my first child. The journey of parenthood since then has been filled with a whirlwind of emotions—joys, challenges, and unexpected turns. If I were to heed the opinions of various parenting “experts,” I might believe I’ve made countless blunders along the way.
In the early days of motherhood, my perceived mistakes felt monumental. One of the most significant was my choice to stop breastfeeding. Let me clarify: I support breastfeeding and advocate for every woman’s right to choose how she nurtures her child. For many, breastfeeding fosters a strong connection; for me, however, it was quite the opposite. I struggled through six weeks of breastfeeding with my first son, feeling overwhelmed and even resentful at times. This experience worsened my postpartum depression and complicated my bonding process.
Deciding to cease breastfeeding was a tough call filled with guilt and feelings of inadequacy. Society often pressures mothers to prioritize their children’s needs above their own, and the mantra of “breast is best” loomed large. Yet, for both my son and me, moving on was the right choice. By the time my second son was born three years later, I confidently opted not to breastfeed at all.
While I admire those who find joy in breastfeeding, I also recognize that every mother’s journey is unique. I’ve also deviated from conventional parenting advice in other areas. For instance, I sleep trained my firstborn when he was just a few months old, creating a rigid nap schedule to ensure he got the rest he needed—and so did I. My obsession with capturing every moment through photography was, according to some parenting philosophies, a distraction. Yet, it provided me with a much-needed escape from my struggles and became a form of therapy during darker times.
As my children have grown, my “mistakes” have evolved. I sometimes let my 9-year-old cuddle a security blanket and suck his thumb, believing that a peaceful night’s sleep is worth the potential orthodontic costs down the line. I admit that I don’t always document our family moments as I should, but I find comfort in the idea that I’m living and cherishing these experiences rather than just capturing them on camera.
Perhaps the most criticized aspect of my parenting is my tendency to raise my voice. When my kids bicker or dawdle, I’ve been known to yell. Yes, I understand that yelling isn’t ideal, and I often feel the weight of guilt that comes from being told there are better ways to respond. But I also recognize that my children learn from these moments, including the importance of accountability when I apologize and discuss my reactions with them.
In a world brimming with diverse opinions on the “right” way to raise children, conflicting advice from professionals and fellow parents can easily lead to guilt and self-doubt. What one parent may see as a mistake, another may view as a triumph. There are infinite ways to express love and fulfill the role of parent.
Over the years, I’ve undoubtedly made my share of choices that others might label as mistakes. But I’ve come to realize that regretting those choices adds unnecessary weight. Instead, I choose to view them as integral parts of my parenting journey. They allow me to learn and grow, teaching me to trust my instincts and embrace the beautiful chaos of motherhood. If you’re interested in more insights into parenting and related topics, consider checking out our other posts at Intracervical Insemination.
Summary
In my decade-long parenting journey, I’ve faced numerous challenges and made choices that some may consider mistakes. However, I’ve learned to embrace these experiences as opportunities for growth and self-trust. Each decision reflects my unique path as a mother, and I believe that true parenting wisdom comes from understanding that there are many ways to nurture and raise children.