There’s a version of myself that I recognize each morning when I glance in the mirror, bleary-eyed and unprepared for the day ahead. This is the true me, the one who feels overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood, wearing the weight of sleepless nights and the inevitable signs of aging.
In stark contrast, my curated self emerges—a polished facade that I present to the world. This persona is carefully crafted, showcasing a confident and composed individual who can manage the chaos of parenting with grace. Yet, since stepping into the role of a mother, I’ve been increasingly aware of the disparity between these two identities. I feel it’s time to shed light on the differences between my authentic self and this edited version.
My curated self advocates for a balanced and nutritious diet, filled with vegetables, fruits, and grains that are often difficult to pronounce. Meanwhile, my authentic self sometimes gets by on a diet comprised mostly of chocolate, coffee, and whatever cookies happen to be available.
I often find my curated self engrossed in articles about gentle parenting, expressing to anyone who will listen my commitment to implementing these modern techniques with my children. On the other hand, my authentic self can quickly lose patience during a tantrum, my voice rising in frustration, betraying the calm demeanor I strive to uphold.
When mingling with other parents at school events or birthday parties, my curated self engages easily in conversation. Conversely, my authentic self feels like an outsider, grappling with the same insecurities I had in high school—frizzy hair and mismatched clothes included.
My curated self maintains a level-headed approach to germs, staying unfazed when my child finds a gummy bear on the floor of a gymnasium. Yet, my authentic self spirals into a panic, seeking out worst-case scenarios online, a rabbit hole only the truly paranoid might dive into.
While my curated self appears to have come to terms with the loss of my mother, my authentic self yearns for her guidance and support. No matter how much time passes, the pain remains palpable, reminding me that grief doesn’t simply dissipate.
I often present my curated self as leading a vibrant life beyond motherhood, filled with activities and commitments. In reality, my authentic self struggles daily to reclaim the person I was before children, questioning what my identity will be as my kids grow more independent.
My curated self engages in enriching activities with my children—story time at the library, music classes, and arts and crafts. However, my authentic self frequently finds it challenging to be fully present, often distracted by the pull of my phone, computer, or an ever-growing to-do list.
I readily encourage friends to forgive themselves for parenting missteps. Yet, when it comes to my own shortcomings, my authentic self tends to be harshly critical, often leading to emotional hangovers.
Recognizing that the curated self is more socially acceptable, I’m beginning to understand the importance of embracing my authentic self. By doing so, I connect more deeply with others, and we realize that we all face unique challenges in parenting.
Support and understanding are easier to give and receive when we show our true selves. In the end, we all share a common love for our children, a bond that remains genuine and unbreakable.
For more insights on navigating the world of parenthood and home insemination, be sure to check out this article and explore this resource for valuable information on pregnancy. Additionally, Make A Mom offers expert guidance for couples on their fertility journey.
In summary, it’s essential to embrace the complexities of our authentic selves as parents. Instead of hiding behind a curated persona, we should strive to foster genuine connections, reminding ourselves that navigating parenthood is a shared experience filled with both challenges and joys.