The other evening, I heard a man say, “We are having a baby.” Instantly, I felt a surge of frustration. My cheeks flushed, and my heart raced, reminiscent of countless moments during my own pregnancy when I encountered that same phrase. For me, there was no “we” in pregnancy—only me.
I want to clarify that I hold no ill will towards couples who genuinely feel they share the journey of pregnancy together. In fact, I find myself a bit envious of that sentiment. I wish the term “we” didn’t evoke such strong feelings, especially considering the stress it caused me, which surely wasn’t great for my health or my baby. But I simply couldn’t suppress my emotions.
Let’s be real: Does a woman ever say, “We are getting a vasectomy” when her partner is going in for the procedure? Of course not! It’s his decision, not a shared experience.
It all began one night at dinner when my partner, Tom, proudly announced he had told his colleagues that “WE are pregnant.” This was around the time my clothes began to fit poorly (not in the cute, rounded belly way, but more like “I can’t breathe”), my socks felt like they were cutting off circulation, and I was making frantic stops to vomit.
As I sat there eating my third bowl of processed cheese mac and cheese (a staple during my pregnancy), I calmly told Tom that the only “we” in this pregnancy was when we decided to conceive. He chuckled, probably thinking I was joking. But as the months rolled on, he kept using “we” in reference to my pregnancy.
Depending on my mood and how swollen my feet were, my reactions varied from sarcastic quips to nearly throwing objects, to full-blown tears. Here are ten reasons why the phrase “we are pregnant” simply doesn’t hold up:
- It wasn’t “WE” who abstained from alcohol; that was all me. He enjoyed his drinks while I had a designated driver for 10 months.
- “WE” didn’t sob uncontrollably over the last drumstick in the freezer—yep, that was all me.
- Halfway through, “WE” didn’t split the crotch of my favorite pajama pants—definitely just me.
- “WE” didn’t experience sleepless nights or run to the bathroom fifteen times between 10 PM and 7 AM—that was solely my reality!
- “WE” didn’t endure invasive exams where the doctor misleadingly said, “You’ll feel a little pressure.” Trust me, there’s a big difference between “a little pressure” and feeling like a hand is inside you.
- “WE” didn’t go from freezing to sweating in seconds flat.
- “WE” didn’t dread social situations due to unpredictable gas—well, not because of pregnancy anyway.
- “WE” didn’t have a birth experience that felt like a scene from a horror movie; I went through it while he merely observed.
- Similarly, “WE” didn’t push something the size of a watermelon out of what used to be the size of a grape—that was all me.
- And after all of that, “WE” didn’t see once-firm breasts shrink into something resembling raisins—that’s my personal battle.
Now, we do have a baby together… but I was the one who was pregnant!
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Summary
The article humorously addresses the common phrase “we are pregnant,” emphasizing the differences in the pregnancy experience between partners. It outlines ten reasons why the phrase feels inaccurate, focusing on the physical and emotional challenges faced primarily by the pregnant individual.