Recently, on my social media page, someone criticized my parenting approach, claiming I had broken my child’s trust by employing the cry-it-out method. Another individual labeled me as cruel and unfeeling. These were strangers who had never met me or my child, nor had they witnessed the nuances of our relationship or the context of our parenting decisions.
While I don’t often take offense, hearing from complete outsiders that I was harming my bond with my child and neglecting his well-being due to my sleep-training methods struck a nerve. Feel free to critique my choice of sleep training. Judge me for allowing my kids to indulge in too much screen time, for my parenting techniques, or even for my vaccine choices. I can accept that some criticisms may have merit.
But let’s be clear: don’t question my love for my children!
Humans naturally judge one another—whether it’s about our political beliefs, fashion choices, or even our taste in music. This inclination to compare ourselves to others is deeply ingrained in us. Parenting amplifies this tendency, as when children enter the equation, everyone becomes emotionally invested. After all, they are our most precious resource.
Every parent approaches child-rearing differently, and that’s understandable. We are all unique individuals with children who are equally distinct. There’s no one-size-fits-all method for parenting, which means you’re bound to encounter practices that differ from your own. You might wonder why others don’t adopt your approach, especially if you believe your children are the epitome of perfection. Why wouldn’t others want to achieve the same?
I, too, have my firm opinions, yet I strive to refrain from imposing my views on others, with exceptions regarding critical issues like vaccinations and child safety. Like everyone else, I am human and prone to judgment. While we might try to suppress our impulses to judge, we inevitably harbor opinions about how others parent—often without knowing the full story.
However, it’s not okay to make assumptions about a parent’s motivations. It’s easy to misinterpret a moment when you see someone yelling at their child or seemingly ignoring a tantrum. The real failure lies in assuming that a parent who appears overwhelmed or disconnected doesn’t love their child. Unless you have solid proof of harmful intent—far beyond mere speculation—you must recognize that parents often act out of love, believing they are doing what’s best for their kids.
There are countless factors influencing parenting styles, from cultural backgrounds to personal circumstances. The one undeniable truth that connects us all is our unconditional love for our children. Everything we do, no matter how unconventional it may seem, is ultimately grounded in that love.
I may not share many similarities with you, including our parenting methods, but I’m confident of one thing: we both parent out of love for our children, and I would never assume otherwise. Nor should you.
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In summary, while it’s human nature to judge different parenting styles, we must remember that love is the core of all our decisions as parents. We each navigate the complexities of parenthood uniquely, but at the heart of it all lies the shared goal of caring for our children.