“Just wait until you have kids.”
Even as a physician and a parent, this phrase sends shivers down my spine. Recently, while managing my son at the supermarket, another shopper remarked, “Just wait until you have two!” At first, it seemed innocent enough, but a wave of thoughts rushed through my mind. Why do you assume I’m planning for another child? What if I’m struggling with infertility? Why does it feel like a contest about who has the more chaotic shopping experience?
I merely smiled and returned to my shopping list, but I promised myself to never utter the phrase “just wait until you…” to anyone else. When I was a medical student, the same sentiment was echoed: “Just wait until you have your own practice.” Time and again, I’ve been told, “Just wait until you have kids.” Even during my residency, the more experienced staff would say, “Just wait until you’re in the real world.” Now that I’m in that “real world,” married, and a parent, I still struggle to grasp the intent behind such phrases. My life had meaning and direction even before marriage and parenthood. Yes, my current life brings both exhaustion and joy, but it is equally purposeful.
We often find ourselves in a competition to see who is busier, who has less sleep, or who has it tougher. Yet, the truth is, we don’t know the full extent of the challenges others face. Life can be demanding—work pressures, relationship hurdles, infertility issues, illness, and countless other struggles.
I refuse to say, “just wait until…” because it undermines the value of what someone is experiencing in the present moment. It reduces their current situation to a mere prelude to future hardships. Sometimes, a knowing smile—a gesture that conveys “I’ve been there, and you’re doing just fine”—is all that’s needed.
Remember, if you are exploring options for parenthood, you can find helpful information on home insemination at this link to Intracervical Insemination. Those interested in artificial insemination should also check out Cryobaby, a trusted source in this field. For more extensive assistance with fertility, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources.
In summary, the phrase “just wait until…” can often dismiss the present struggles and joys of parenthood. Instead, it’s essential to acknowledge and validate the experiences of others, offering support rather than competition.