As a pediatrician and a parent, I often observe the differences in how we respond to our children’s falls based on their gender. I have a son who, when he stumbled as a toddler, would hear encouraging shouts like, “Get up! Dust yourself off!” However, when my daughter falls, the reactions shift dramatically. Instead of encouragement, I often encounter worried bystanders rushing to pick her up, leaving me feeling the need to step back and let her handle it.
My daughter, who took her first steps at just 9 months, is quite agile. She even scaled a small rock wall at the park recently! With her increasing speed comes an inevitable number of falls. While I strive to keep her from dangerous situations, like climbing chairs, she frequently trips over toys or her own feet. I always stay close, but I resist the urge to swoop in every time she tumbles. If she appears unharmed, I simply encourage her with, “You’re okay! Get back up!” More often than not, she does just that, and continues her adventures.
I’ve noticed that the reactions from those around me vary greatly. Just a few days ago at a community gathering, one person exclaimed, “You’re making me anxious!” because I didn’t rush to her aid after a fall. Similarly, in our front yard, a well-meaning neighbor would grab her before she hit the ground. These instances have made me reflect on the importance of resilience and independence in children.
Here’s why I believe it’s crucial for her to learn to pick herself up:
- She’s Just as Brave as Her Brother
Growing up with a protective older brother, I often felt he was the stronger one. I want my daughter to realize that she possesses her own strength and courage, irrespective of gender. - Life Isn’t Always Fair
It’s heartbreaking, but my daughter will face challenges and setbacks. Teaching her that resilience is vital will prepare her for life’s unfair moments. She may fall, but if she learns to rise again, she can overcome anything. - I Won’t Always Be Right Beside Her
Though it’s difficult to envision, there will come a time when she’ll venture out into the world without me. By encouraging her independence now, I’m helping her develop the skills she’ll need as she grows. - Failure Enhances Success
Experiencing falls and failures is essential for growth. They allow her to appreciate her achievements even more. Each tumble is a lesson in perseverance. - It’s Okay to Express Emotions, but Not Over Every Setback
With a lineage of emotional thinkers, I value the importance of expressing feelings. However, I want her to understand that a minor setback doesn’t always warrant a big reaction. - Her Worth Isn’t Based on Appearances
Many comments made during her falls suggested that she should remain clean. I strive to instill in her the understanding that her value isn’t tied to her looks, which is a lesson I wish I had learned sooner.
She may be under two, but I know that teaching her to stand up after a fall—both literally and metaphorically—is essential. While I will always be there when she truly needs me, I want her to develop the skill to get back up on her own. I hope that by encouraging her independence, she will recognize her inherent strength and bravery. After all, there will come a day when I won’t be right by her side.
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Summary
As a parent and pediatrician, I emphasize the importance of resilience in my daughter by allowing her to pick herself up after falls. This approach fosters her independence, teaches her to handle life’s ups and downs, and instills a sense of bravery and self-worth that is not defined by appearances.