I recently attended a work event in Seattle when a non-parent struck up a conversation after learning I run a parenting blog. The moment she started dispensing her unsolicited advice, I found myself tuning out, reflecting on the multitude of ridiculous parenting tips I’ve received from those without kids. Here are a few that come to mind and how I would love to respond.
“Don’t let them snack in the car; that way, you won’t have a mess.”
Oh, really? Have you ever driven for more than 20 minutes with a cranky, hungry toddler? Picture this: you’re trapped in a moving vehicle, surrounded by mini-monsters who are screeching for snacks and constantly poking at each other. After a few years of daily chaos, you’ll find yourself ready to do whatever it takes to keep the peace, even if it means handing out fruit snacks that inevitably end up stuck in the seats. Sometimes, the backseat feels like a rowdy prison, and I’m just trying to prevent an uprising!
“Your kids would eat better if you didn’t offer them choices.”
When was the last time you hosted a dinner and your adult friends looked at your meal like it was a scary abyss? Getting my kids to try even a bite of a burrito is a Herculean task, complete with gagging and tear-filled eyes. The dinner table can quickly become a battleground, and I often find myself wishing I could serve nothing but mac and cheese just to avoid the drama.
“If you truly cared, you wouldn’t take your kids to McDonald’s.”
If you had kids, you’d realize how unrealistic that statement is. McDonald’s is like a siren’s call for children—irresistible, even if I loathe the place. It’s expensive, unhealthy, and the toys seem to multiply in my backseat. But sometimes, a quick stop at McDonald’s can save sanity on a hectic day, just like you might crave a Starbucks.
“You shouldn’t let your children dictate your life.”
What does that even mean? Are you suggesting I leave them outside with a bowl of water and some chips? Or that I should take them out barefoot because I can’t find their shoes in time? Being a parent means my kids are my world. If they weren’t, I’d be failing them. They require my full attention, and if I didn’t invest in them, I’d be that parent everyone whispers about.
“I don’t get why you’re always so worn out. Just send them back to bed.”
Oh, please! Telling a child to return to bed is akin to asking a cat to stop sitting on your lap. My five-year-old once threw a tantrum when I told her to go back to bed at 5 a.m., waking up her brother and our newborn in the process. Suddenly, the entire household was cranky and ready to argue over breakfast choices.
“My pets have the same issues, but I just assert my authority.”
Seriously? You’re comparing your pets to my children? Sure, I love my dogs, but they are not the same as raising kids. Children are complex individuals, not just furry companions. Parenting requires constant adjustments and patience. I might think I’m in charge, but my kids often lead the way. It’s a long, winding journey filled with tears and laughter, and it doesn’t work like simple commands.
For more insights on navigating parenthood and handling unsolicited advice, check out this other blog post. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination options, Make a Mom offers reliable kits to help you on your journey. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine is a fantastic resource for fertility and home insemination.
In summary, unsolicited parenting advice from non-parents can be frustrating and often misses the mark. While they may mean well, it’s essential to remember that parenting is a unique and challenging journey that requires understanding and patience.
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