As a pediatrician and a parent, I’ve often found myself caught in the whirlwind of toddler tantrums and stubbornness. It’s easy to fall into the cycle of frustration, repeating the same phrases and expecting a different outcome. As Einstein famously said, that’s a sign of insanity, and yet, here we are. Navigating parenthood, especially with a toddler, sometimes feels like a matter of survival. I’ve learned to conserve my energy for the important battles. Here are five skirmishes I’ve chosen to let go:
1. “Don’t Climb the Slide.”
Every trip to the playground seems to trigger this familiar exchange:
Mom: “Please don’t climb the slide.”
Kid: “But why?”
Mom: “Because slides are for going down.”
Truth is, playgrounds are meant for fun! If my little one wants to climb the slide while being respectful of others, who am I to stop her? Just keep the climbing to playtime, not during our board game of Chutes and Ladders.
2. “Don’t Color on Your Hands.”
When my son picked up a crayon for the first time, I was overjoyed. That excitement faded when he decided his hands were the perfect canvas. After scrubbing ink from his fingers for what felt like the hundredth time before my morning coffee, I surrendered. If he wants to be a walking art project, that’s his prerogative. This is just his way of expressing creativity.
3. “Sit Down and Eat.”
As someone who enjoys a good meal and a cozy dining experience, I don’t understand why sitting down to eat is akin to torture for my toddler. I’ve given up on trying to keep him seated. If he wants to take a bite and then dash around the house, so be it! I’m just happy to snatch a few bites of dessert while he bounces around.
4. “No, Don’t Make a Mess.”
Why do toddlers find joy in scattering toys everywhere? Every time my daughter searches for a single toy, our living room resembles a disaster zone. I’ve tried reasoning with her about the chaos, but it’s as effective as telling a teenager to tidy their room before finding the perfect outfit. At least the scattered toys hide the fact that I haven’t vacuumed in a while.
5. “That’s Not What _____ is For.”
Yes, technically, couches aren’t meant for jumping, and stuffed animals shouldn’t be thrown. But toddlers are explorers at heart. If my daughter wants to experiment with her toys in unconventional ways, I’ve learned to embrace that. At least she’s enjoying herself—and we can avoid the repeated reminder that mommy’s clothing isn’t meant to be a fashion statement for her stuffed animals.
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In summary, embracing the chaos and allowing toddlers the freedom to explore helps foster creativity and joy. After all, parenthood is about enjoying the journey, not just the destination.