When my mother experienced her first menstruation at the age of 13, her own mother responded with a sharp slap to the face. This was a common reaction for women in her generation, as she often reminded me. Thankfully, my mother chose a different approach for me; instead of punishment, she handed me a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves when I was just 12. I remember flipping through the pages, captivated by the stark black-and-white images, even if I didn’t fully absorb the text. The visuals, however, left a lasting impression.
As a medical professional, I’ve aimed to foster a more positive attitude toward bodily functions, particularly menstruation, which is often shrouded in stigma. This perspective became especially important after my partner and I welcomed our son and daughter into the world. I wanted my daughter to feel comfortable discussing her future experiences with menstruation.
Last year, we decided to turn this topic into a family experiment: whenever I got my period, my partner would take the kids out for a candy run. While I devised the idea, he enthusiastically agreed. The goal was simple—normalize conversations about menstruation, transforming it from a taboo subject into a routine discussion. Plus, who doesn’t love candy?
At dinner, we casually introduced the topic to our kids. My partner and I maintained an air of nonchalance, as if we were simply discussing the weather.
Me: “Hey, just a heads up, I’ve got some good news—I’m on my period.”
Partner: “Great! Kids, let’s grab some chocolate for Mommy after dinner.”
Son: “What’s a period?”
Me: “It’s kind of like a nosebleed, but it happens from a vagina. It’s not painful.”
Son: “So, blood comes out of your vagina?”
Me: “Exactly! It occurs about once a month for grown women and teenagers.”
Son: “Oh. [Long pause.] Can I have chocolate too?”
Me: “Of course! I’ll share. Just remind Dad to pick something nice.”
I was encouraged by how the conversation unfolded. My daughter listened intently, my son showed signs of being open-minded, and my partner managed to keep his lunch down. However, I soon found myself fielding some unexpected remarks:
- “Mommy, my nose is having a period!”
- “I have candy because Mommy has blood on her vagina!”
- “Mommy, can we get M&M’s for your period?”
While these comments made for some awkward moments in public, the overall outcome of our experiment has been positive. My children are comfortable discussing menstruation, my partner avoids euphemisms like “Aunt Flo,” and I get plenty of candy in return. I’ll keep you updated as my daughter approaches adolescence. In the meantime, I need to prepare a suitable explanation for why some women, like her teachers or our neighbors, may not appreciate the offer of “period chocolate.”
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In summary, our family’s light-hearted approach to menstruation has not only normalized the conversation but has also fostered a more open atmosphere about bodily functions. It’s crucial for parents to promote understanding and comfort regarding these natural processes, especially as children grow up.