A few years back, when my youngest child entered kindergarten, I found myself at the center of attention. As a stay-at-home mom, I suddenly became the talk of the town. Old acquaintances were eager to know how I would fill my time now that the kids were in school. The assumptions were rampant—medical school, a new job, or volunteering seemed to be the go-to expectations. But my honest answer of, “I’m just going to focus on myself for a bit,” didn’t go over well. Well, except for my partner, who enthusiastically supported my downtime: “Yes, dear! Your relaxation means more quality time for us!”
No one was interested in hearing about my adventures scrubbing the floors or my attempts at yoga. It made me wonder why my choices were any of their business. My kids were in school for six hours a day, five days a week—though that didn’t account for days off, vacations, or appointments. But if I chose to place them in daycare for a few hours of solitude, that was my prerogative.
If I breastfeed my toddler in public, that shouldn’t concern you. But if I were to breastfeed your child, well, that’s a different story. Drinking a glass of wine in front of my kid? My choice. But if you see me driving with my children while sipping on a bottle of red, that’s your business.
What I do with my kids is not up for debate. If I let my 10-year-old walk a few blocks to school with a friend, that’s my decision. Conversely, if I leave a child or pet in a hot car while I run an errand, that’s where your concern is warranted. Allowing my child to indulge in soda occasionally? Not your issue. But if I host your child for a playdate and ignore your vegan preference by serving bacon cheeseburgers, then you definitely have a say.
Social media posts filled with my colorful language? Not your concern. But if I call your child a “little rascal,” that’s where you can step in. If I decide to take a night job as a performer to fund my children’s education, that remains my business. But inviting your child to attend my show? That’s something to discuss.
Letting my 8-year-old watch a PG-13 movie? Not your business. But if your daughter has nightmares after binge-watching horror shows with me, then that’s a conversation we should have. I might have “the talk” with my child when he’s four, but if he teaches that same lesson to your child, that’s when you should get involved.
As I navigate through life in my 40s without children, that’s not your concern either. However, if I attempt to take your child, that’s definitely an issue! Allowing my child to eat food off the floor? Not your business. But if my child takes food from your plate and hides it, then we should talk.
In my four decades of life, I’ve learned that focusing on my own parenting journey leads to greater happiness. With two kids in puberty and another who specializes in dining out antics, I have more than enough to manage without taking on the scrutiny of others.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this resource. And if you’re interested in tools for self-insemination, take a look at this guide. For further reading, consider visiting this post to keep the conversation flowing.
Summary:
Navigating parenting can be challenging, especially when faced with unsolicited opinions. It’s essential to focus on your path and choices, whether it’s how you raise your children or how you choose to spend your time. Ultimately, your parenting decisions should be respected as your own.