Recently, I received a text from a close friend, Sarah, who expressed her frustration: “I’m overwhelmed by everything and everyone.” While we don’t often talk, we connect when parenting feels especially challenging. She has a 5-year-old and a 9-month-old, both demanding in their own ways.
Her next message was a cry for help: “Am I a terrible parent for wishing I could just hand my kids off? My eldest whines non-stop, and the baby won’t stop crying! I think I might lose it.” I replied with a touch of humor, “Absolutely! You’re a bad parent. And guess what? I’m the driver of the bad-parent bus! Seriously though, would you want to be on a good-parent bus with someone who never admits to a struggle?”
At that moment, I could picture her husband lounging in front of the TV with their older child while the baby cried in the crib. I encouraged her to let out her frustrations: “Go scream into a pillow! Get outside and just lie on the ground for a moment. You deserve a break—have a drink; you’ve earned it!”
Realizing that texting was limiting, I called her and said, “Let it all out.” “I’m just so fed up,” she began. “I know this phase won’t last forever, but the constant whining from the older one is unbearable, and I feel like I’m failing both of them.” I listened, recalling my own experiences and realizing how far I had come.
We shared laughs, and I recounted my own coping strategies—blogging, the occasional guilty pleasure of a cigarette after the kids were asleep (which, frankly, never led to addiction because I always felt nauseous after just a few puffs). I found it surprising that, in this conversation, I was the one offering support instead of venting. I even thought, “It was so hard, yet it feels like a distant memory. Just a blur.”
Yet, a specific memory emerged—those months filled with tearless cries that felt endless. She mentioned, “I know things will get easier soon.” All I could think was, “If by ‘soon’ you mean in 18 months, then yes, it will improve.”
I recognized that she was entering the stage where my youngest had created a similar chaos. Parenting challenges are still present, but the nonsensical toddler years have passed. Speaking with Sarah reminded me that I might truly be on the other side of this journey.
It gets (slightly) easier, much like others had reassured me a year prior. I told her, “You’re the closest to where I was, so I completely understand. Call me whenever you need to vent; it’s still fresh in my mind.” “I will, thanks. I know it’ll get better soon,” she replied. I chuckled internally, knowing it might not be as immediate as she hoped.
Parenting has become more manageable, yet it remains a constant challenge—like herding cats, repeating myself countless times, and negotiating with an adorable yet obstinate 2½-year-old. It’s still about managing tears over a lost pacifier (the toddler’s, not mine) and navigating the emotional fallout of a defiant 4-year-old.
Yet, it is easier now. I always dreamed of this day arriving, but it truly hit me when I found myself as the listener rather than the one venting. It dawned on me as I empathized with her frustrations, saying, “I get it. I’ve been there. I don’t know how I made it through, but you will too.” The perspective shifts in this phase of parenthood.
While the road ahead still appears daunting, I think I’ll treat myself to a drink. After all, I deserve it. If you’re seeking further insights on this topic, you can check out this blog post or explore resources like Cleveland Clinic for more on pregnancy and home insemination. For those on a journey toward parenthood, Make a Mom offers excellent guidance.
In summary, parenting is a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges. While it can feel overwhelming at times, the storms will pass. Seeking support and sharing experiences can lighten the load, reminding us that we’re not alone in this journey.