It’s late at night, and I find myself scribbling a note in tiny letters meant for my daughter’s fairy friend. “Keep practicing the piano; you’re so talented. I adore the dresses you crafted for me,” I write, signing off with an elegant “E” for Elowen—an imaginative name that popped into my head one evening. I gently place the note in her fairy house, feeling a mix of joy and mischief. As I return to bed, I catch my husband’s skeptical gaze as he turns off the lamp. He doesn’t understand why I’m so committed to maintaining this fantasy, but I can’t help it.
In this magical time of year, my 9-year-old, Lily, holds on to a delightful array of imaginary beings: Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and now, Elowen. To his credit, my husband has embraced these roles, even going so far as to stage a playful “Santa sighting” for Lily. He’s the one who remembers to leave coins under pillows for lost teeth and who relished the drama when Lily lost a tooth just before Christmas. “What if the Tooth Fairy and the Elf on the Shelf cross paths tonight?” he mused, and together we laughed at the chaos that might ensue.
Elowen is different from these traditional figures; she arrived at a pivotal moment when it seems like Lily should be leaving her childhood beliefs behind. My husband doesn’t realize that Elowen’s presence is especially meaningful as Lily begins her transition into the pre-teen years.
Last summer, as Lily faced the emotional shifts that come with growing up, I worried I would become one of those mothers who inadvertently frustrates her child. In an attempt to bridge our communication, I purchased a mother-daughter journal designed to foster open dialogue. We took turns writing to one another, which worked for a while. But then, a simple shoebox sparked Lily’s creativity. “I want to make a fairy house!” she exclaimed, and I eagerly supported her. Kids love crafting, and her fascination with boxes is a testament to how we could have saved money by collecting cardboard instead of buying toys.
While our journal sat untouched, the shoebox transformed into a magical dwelling with cut-out windows, tiny furniture crafted from rolled tissue, and even a note inviting Elowen to visit. One night, in a moment of whimsy, Elowen wrote back, filling Lily with wonder.
Though my husband may not fully support this fantasy, research suggests that fostering belief in imaginary beings can have positive effects on a child’s development. Jacqueline Woolley, a psychology professor at the University of Texas, argues that exploring the line between reality and imagination is crucial for innovation and creativity.
So, I’m nurturing a dreamer, and I cherish that. But my reasons for continuing this correspondence with Elowen are also quite personal. The notes from Elowen resonate with Lily in ways my own words sometimes do not. When Elowen praises her piano skills or her achievements at school, it lights up Lily’s face. She hasn’t met Elowen and has no proof of her existence, yet the fairy’s encouragement seems to carry more significance than my own.
I know that one day, Lily will outgrow this magical phase, and I’ve even considered letting Elowen take on more serious topics as she matures. Perhaps I could use her notes to convey important messages about relationships or self-care—topics that mothers have navigated with their daughters for generations.
Eventually, the truth will come out, and it will be me, her mother, providing guidance to a more grown-up Lily. Until that day comes, I’ll keep the magic alive, watching her delight in finding messages from Elowen, a friend who sees all the good in her.
For those exploring similar journeys of parenthood or seeking guidance on home insemination, there are excellent resources available like this blog post on intracervical insemination and this guide from Make a Mom. Additionally, CCRM IVF’s blog offers valuable insights into pregnancy and the journey of becoming a parent.
In summary, fostering Lily’s belief in Elowen is not only about keeping magic alive; it also provides her with a source of encouragement and comfort as she navigates the complexities of growing up.