As a multicultural family in America, my children proudly embody a blend of heritages: my European background and my husband’s Iranian roots. My husband, a fluent Farsi speaker and Iranian-American, was born and raised in the U.S. Despite his common Middle Eastern name, my family often faces questions that reflect deep-seated stereotypes and prejudices surrounding Middle Eastern cultures and Islam.
These inquiries stem from a lack of understanding and pervasive Islamophobia that often clouds perceptions. It can be exhausting to defend my husband, our marriage, and the identities of our children. Yet, just as people of color and women continue to raise their voices against racism and gender discrimination, I will persist in addressing these misconceptions.
Let’s be clear: Islam is not a hateful religion, and Middle Eastern people are not inherently violent. It’s disheartening that such truths need reiterating, but we must engage with diverse communities and broaden our perspectives. Here are five of the most ridiculous questions I often receive about my Middle Eastern husband and our multiethnic kids:
- Does he control you?
Seriously, does this colorful-haired, tattooed doctor look like she could be controlled by anyone, let alone a Middle Eastern man? My husband is remarkably easygoing, and if anyone tries to control anyone, it’s usually the other way around (shh, don’t tell him!). - Do you have to wear a veil?
If I don’t want to wear underwear, that’s my choice! Of course, I understand the norms of dressing appropriately in public spaces, but neither my husband nor anyone else dictates my wardrobe. Many Muslim women in America choose to wear the hijab proudly as a symbol of their faith, not oppression. If my husband were to impose anything on me, that would be a different story entirely. - Does he expect you to do Muslim things?
You mean praying five times a day? Absolutely not. I’m not Muslim, nor is my husband; he’s Middle Eastern. It’s essential to note that a person can be of Middle Eastern descent without being Muslim. Even if he were, he could practice his faith independently. We celebrate certain cultural holidays together, much like any family does. - Does your husband think he can have multiple wives?
Last I checked, polygamy is illegal here in the U.S. Honestly, I can’t imagine how any man could juggle multiple wives. Who wants to deal with that drama? While the Quran permits some Muslim men to have up to four wives, it’s a choice, not a requirement. Plus, my husband is far too sensible (and perhaps too broke) for that arrangement. - Is it safe to take your kids to a Muslim country?
I’ll determine what’s safe for my children, including travel to Iran, where my husband’s family resides. We visited Morocco recently, and the experience was delightful—Moroccan hospitality was exceptional. While it’s advisable for female travelers to dress modestly, this is about respect, not obligation. Travel to Iran has its challenges, but that doesn’t mean I view the Iranian people through a lens of fear or prejudice. Instead, I choose to educate myself about diverse cultures, opting for knowledge over stereotypes.
Engaging with Middle Eastern communities has been eye-opening, and I believe in choosing empathy over ignorance. For those interested in exploring the complexities of family planning, you can find more information about home insemination techniques at intracervicalinsemination.com. If you’re considering methods for conception, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource. Additionally, understanding your fertility insurance options can be beneficial; check out this resource for comprehensive information.
In summary, let’s continue to challenge stereotypes, ask better questions, and foster understanding.