Dear Ella,
I hope this letter never sees the light of day. My wish is to instill in you a deep sense of self-acceptance before the weight of insecurities begins to stack up. I hope you always find beauty in everything around you and, most importantly, within yourself.
I hope no boy ever makes you feel pressured to shed pounds and that no advertiser convinces you that you need makeup to be considered beautiful. I never want to hear you say, “I’m not pretty enough” or “I’m too heavy.” It’s my hope that self-criticism never becomes a routine part of your life.
This is your 28-year-old mother speaking, just a few months after giving birth to you. I’m currently on a journey to embrace my post-baby body. In theory, I know I still look alright; I remind myself that my body is beautiful because it nurtured you for nine months and continues to provide for you. Yet, when I glance in the mirror, I often feel defeated. On particularly rough days, I feel utterly broken.
I’ve always had some insecurities about my appearance. Before I became pregnant, I had quick fixes—crash diets when I felt bloated and salon visits when my look lost its spark. But pregnancy has stripped away those easy solutions. No outfit can disguise the extra weight, and no cream can erase the marks that tell the story of your arrival.
Honestly, I’m exhausted by my own insecurities. Comparing myself to others is draining; there’s always someone who seems prettier, younger, or just plain better. I worry that you might notice my frowns during weigh-ins or how I sift through countless outfits to find one that conceals my flaws. How can I teach you about beauty when I struggle with my own self-acceptance?
In my vulnerability, I reflect on the lessons I want to impart regarding beauty and self-image. As your mother, this is one of my most significant challenges. You have no idea how much your innocent admiration helps me combat my negative thoughts. You see me as if I’m the most magnificent person in the world, and I intend to use that as a foundation to foster my own positive self-perception. When you ask me about weight, beauty, and insecurities, I want to answer you with sincerity and love.
My hope for you is to embrace every moment and not miss out simply because you feel you “don’t look good.” I encourage you to explore sports, martial arts, or dance. Enjoy building sandcastles in your swimsuit and savor the delicious meals your father prepares. Don’t panic over the scale’s numbers, and graciously accept compliments as truth. My dear, these are the lessons I wish to learn for myself, as they will guide me in teaching you.
If I ever need to share this letter with you, I hope it serves to show that many women struggle with body image. I hope you feel empowered to uplift other women instead of competing with them. Always strive to see the beauty in those around you, just as you’re helping me see my own worth.
Thank you for being my light. I love you endlessly,
Mom