“Do you have a loyalty card?” the supermarket cashier inquires with a smile. This part is genuine; he actually speaks, unlike the rest of our interaction. I hand him the card, and as he scans it, I mentally prepare for the onslaught of unwarranted assumptions that seem to come with every grocery run.
He’s new, I think. At least, I’m not familiar with him. This means he knows nothing about my life, yet I can feel his eyes on my cart as he glances at my choices—some frozen meals nestled next to snacks. “Really? Those microwave dinners?” I imagine him thinking. “Sure, they’re loaded with sodium, but they’re just for lunch,” I mentally argue back. “And yes, I know it looks odd to have those next to the ice cream, but I have a family! It’s not just for me!”
As I watch him scan my groceries, I hope he notices I’m using reusable bags. I wish he’d recognize the effort I’m putting in, but instead, I catch a flicker of disapproval on his face. “Listen,” I think, “if it weren’t for microwaves, kids wouldn’t be drawn to these quick meals. Do you really think I want to serve chicken nuggets every night? I’ve got real beef stew meat here for tonight’s dinner, and sure, it’s not the healthiest option, but at least I’m cooking it from scratch, not zapping it in a microwave!”
Suddenly, I remember the items I’ve left under the cart. I usually remove those first to avoid the stares. As I hold up a 12-pack of diet soda, I sense his condescension. “Yes, I know that’s not for my kids. They mostly drink water and milk—occasionally chocolate milk and Gatorade. As for those sugary drinks? I don’t buy them often!” I feel my defensive thoughts spiral.
I glance at the cereal he’s now scanning. “Okay, you got me with the sugary cereal,” I mentally concede. “But I used to buy whole-grain options! They stopped making my favorite Fruity Cheerios, so don’t judge me for making a choice that’s not ideal!”
Next, he struggles with a Lunchables package. I can’t help but roll my eyes internally. “I only bought two!” I want to shout. “And they’re just convenient for busy days, so back off!”
Now we’re at the produce section, and I’ve saved it for last to keep it fresh. “See these grapes?” I want to explain. “They’re not on sale, but I’m buying them because I care about my family’s health. I spend hours cutting up fruits and veggies so they have something healthy to eat!” I want to point out the apples, pears, and fresh spinach, mentally insisting that my grocery cart isn’t all junk.
I catch myself getting worked up over eggs. “Come on, eggs are good for you!” I think. “The health guidelines change every year, and I can’t keep up with your judgment when it’s ever-changing!”
As he finishes ringing up my groceries, he states the total: “That’ll be $267.85.” I pay and manage a cheerful “Have a great day!” as he bids me farewell. In this imaginary debate, I feel I’ve come out on top, even if it was all in my head.
For more on navigating life’s challenges with a family, you may want to check out this article. If you’re interested in understanding more about the fertility journey, this resource provides great insights. Additionally, Science Daily is an excellent resource for anyone looking into pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, it’s easy to feel judged as a parent while shopping, especially by cashiers who know nothing about your life. Grocery shopping often turns into a defensive mental battle, but it’s important to remember that we all make choices based on our circumstances.