“Enjoy these moments,” a woman in front of me at the grocery store remarked with a wistful smile, “they truly go by in a flash.”
I’ve heard this sentiment countless times before.
“It’s all over before you realize,” they say.
“Before you know it, she’ll be a teenager.”
“You’ll blink and she’ll be getting married.”
If I had a dollar for every time someone suggested that I wasn’t fully appreciating my time as a parent, I’d be able to afford all the organic snacks I could ever want. As a mother, I know you can relate to these comments, too.
For a long time, such remarks made me want to respond with frustration. Often, they come at the most inconvenient moments—like when I’m juggling grocery lists and my 18-month-old is finally entertained by a snack I grabbed off the shelf, just to keep her from reaching for the display of owl mugs.
Sometimes, they come as I’m rushing out of a store, exhausted and frazzled, my mismatched socks a testament to my chaotic day. It’s as if these well-meaning strangers have been watching me struggle and think their “you’ll miss it one day” words will somehow console me.
I often felt compelled to retort, “What are you suggesting? That I’m not fully cherishing every precious second with my child?” Instead, I would just offer a polite nod, eager to escape the conversation and avoid a potential meltdown.
But over time, I’ve come to a realization. These comments reflect the speaker’s own experiences, not my parenting style.
Just the other night, I cuddled with my now 19-month-old daughter as she went through her goodnight routine. “Night night Elmo; night night Dada; night night grandma…”—it was a sweet reminder of how quickly she’s growing. In a whirlwind of days, she’s started stringing together new phrases and asking us to recite the alphabet. There’s been a remarkable leap in her language and emotional expression, which astounds me daily.
Yet, parenting isn’t just about those beautiful moments. There have been challenging times along the way too— the struggles of breastfeeding, the exhausting witching hour, and the mom guilt that sometimes feels overwhelming. And yes, we’re currently navigating tantrums that can be quite trying.
The contrasting moments—the joy of mastering the swaddle, the relief of weaning, and now the delightful explosion of language—have all unfolded in what feels like an instant. It’s akin to riding a thrilling roller coaster: I’m both excited and apprehensive, bracing for the next twist and drop, all while knowing it’s fleeting.
Didn’t I just endure the most grueling 36 hours of labor, only to hear my daughter’s first cries after an anxious wait? Didn’t I just break down with joy when she was placed on my chest, her skin warm and perfect? Didn’t I feel a wave of exhaustion mixed with overwhelming love wash over me?
That moment in the store, the woman sees my spirited toddler trying to stand in the shopping cart, and she’s reminded of her own journey through motherhood. She is reflecting on her past, the moments she cherished, and perhaps those she wished she had appreciated more deeply.
Her wistfulness signifies a shared understanding of this wild ride of parenthood. She knows it’s a transient phase, one she might miss now that her children are grown.
So, when someone tells me, “Savor every moment; before you know it, she’ll be driving,” I’ll genuinely smile and respond, “Thank you. I truly will.”
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In summary, parenthood is an exhilarating journey filled with moments of joy and challenges. While it may feel overwhelming at times, each phase is precious and fleeting, reminding us to savor every second.