Having children undeniably transforms every aspect of life, including the way couples approach date nights. Reflecting on the past, it’s almost amusing to consider our pre-kid outings as mere “parties.” My partner and I still carve out time for each other, but nowadays, a night out is far from the carefree escapades we used to enjoy. Here’s a look at how date nights differ before and after kids.
When They Happen
Before Kids: Date nights could happen every evening.
After Kids: We’re lucky to get out once a month.
Getting Ready
Before Kids: I took my time, ensuring my legs were perfectly shaved, outfit flawless, and makeup impeccable. I could relax for ten minutes before heading out.
After Kids: Getting ready is a chaotic affair. Between feeding the kids and trying to shower with two toddlers, I often end up with one leg shaved and jewelry missing (thanks to my daughter’s fashion choices). My makeup routine turns into a negotiation, and I often forget accessories altogether. I give the kids a quick hug and sneak out while my mom reads them a story.
Where to Go
Before Kids: Decisions felt endless—“Where should we go?” “I don’t want to repeat places!”
After Kids: We’ve created a curated list of must-visit restaurants, and I often fantasize about the menu in advance. If it’s not a planned date, it’s usually a work-related event that allows us some adult time, which we appreciate.
During Dinner
Before Kids: We’d order drinks and dinner, savoring each moment without a care in the world.
After Kids: Dining out feels like a royal affair. We enjoy every bite while keeping an eye out for any toddler hands trying to grab our food. The conversation often revolves around the amusing antics of our children, and we can’t help but laugh when we receive funny updates or photos from our babysitter.
Post-Dinner
Before Kids: We’d hit the bar after dinner, carefree and ready for more fun.
After Kids: As we sip our first drink, thoughts of the kids creep in. We feel the tug of responsibility and often find ourselves planning an early return, even if it’s just past 10 p.m.
Returning Home
Before Kids: Our nights would often end in the early hours, with late-night snacks and deep sleep following.
After Kids: We return home just before midnight, feeling like we’ve been gone forever. Our little one often wakes up to ask about our evening, and we can’t resist snuggling them because we’ve missed them so much.
The Next Day
Before Kids: We’d wake up ready to plan our next outing, looking forward to wings and drinks during the game.
After Kids: We awaken feeling like we’ve been hit by a truck, even after a relatively early night. Our toddler’s soccer practice at 8 a.m. quickly reminds us of our new reality.
Date nights are crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship, even when they become less frequent after kids arrive. Sometimes, a short car ride with the kids asleep in the backseat can be our special time. For more insights into parenting and relationships, check out this blog post or explore resources on pregnancy that can aid in your journey.
In summary, while the dynamic of date nights shifts dramatically with the addition of children, it’s essential to prioritize these moments together. They may look different now, but they remain an important element of a strong marriage.