9 Times I Truly “Can’t Even” as a Mom

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As I navigate the wild journey of motherhood, I often find myself uttering the phrase, “I can’t even.” It’s a simple yet powerful expression that sums up those overwhelming moments we all experience as moms. According to Urban Dictionary, this phrase has become a standalone sentence, and it’s not hard to see why. The emotional rollercoaster of parenting often leaves us speechless—literally. Here are nine instances where I’ve found myself completely unable to “even” as a mom.

1. I Can’t Even Express My Frustration on the Road: Road rage is real, but my ability to shout expletives has vanished. Instead of hurling insults, I’m reduced to muttering silly phrases like “doo-doo head.” It just doesn’t have the same effect as letting out a good old-fashioned curse word. Kids in the backseat keep my language PG, and I can’t help but miss my former self.
2. I Can’t Even Listen to My Favorite Music: Those anthems I used to jam out to? Forget it. My little one isn’t quite ready to learn the backstory behind every lyric. Suddenly, the music I loved feels inappropriate, and I find myself longing for the days when I could blast my favorite tunes without a care.
3. I Can’t Even Eat My Meals: Remember leisurely dinners? Now, I can barely chew my food before I’m up again. I have a sneaky suspicion that I’ll go out in a rather comical way—choking on a bite of food because I inhaled it in a rush.
4. I Can’t Even Leave the House on Schedule: Ever notice how the universe conspires against you when you’re trying to leave? Murphy’s Law reigns supreme, and a surprise diaper change always pops up right when I’m about to walk out the door.
5. I Can’t Even Watch Adult TV: The last time I indulged in an adult TV series from start to finish feels like a distant memory. Gone are the days of binge-watching without guilt or interruptions.
6. I Can’t Even Read the News: The moment I scroll through the news, anxiety hits. It’s as if motherhood has unlocked a floodgate of worries, leading to sleepless nights and an unending stream of “what if” scenarios.
7. I Can’t Even Recall the Pain of Labor: It’s a strange phenomenon—I can’t remember how intense it was, which puts me at risk of doing it all over again. It’s like my brain has switched into a protective mode, and I can’t seem to access those memories.
8. I Can’t Even Stay Awake Past 9 PM: Writing this late into the night feels like a test of endurance. I used to be a night owl, but now my social life revolves around a solid bedtime, and it’s not even a cool one.
9. I Can’t Even Use the Bathroom Alone: Privacy? What’s that? Using the restroom has turned into a race against time, with little feet barging in just as I’m about to enjoy a moment of solitude. It’s a chaotic yet humorous reminder of the life I’ve chosen.

In all honesty, peace and quiet seem like ancient history. Yet, I wouldn’t trade my little ones for anything. Their cuteness makes every chaotic moment worthwhile, and who doesn’t enjoy the occasional potty party? If you’re interested in exploring more about motherhood and parenting, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination. For those on a fertility journey, Make a Mom has excellent home insemination kits, and UCSF’s Center is a fantastic resource for pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, while motherhood comes with its fair share of challenges that leave us speechless, the joy and love it brings make every moment worth it. Embrace the chaos; it’s all part of the beautiful journey.