As a physician, I’ve encountered many colorful characters in my practice, and few are as amusing as the proverbial “Crazy Cat Lady.” With her unruly hair, worn-out clothing, and the faint scent of feline, she’s a staple of humor. You may have seen her at the local grocery store, pushing a cart filled with cat treats or welcoming you with a headless gift from her latest catch. If you’ve ever had a conversation with her while she walks her six cats—each on its own leash—you’ve likely heard their names and even their favorite TV shows. It turns out that what I once viewed as eccentricity is perhaps a profound understanding of life’s choices.
After navigating the hectic world of parenthood, I find myself rethinking my options. Here are fifteen reasons why, if I get a second chance, I’d opt for cats instead of children:
- Vegetable Aversion
Both kids and cats have a notorious dislike for vegetables, but when my cat freaks out at the sight of a cucumber, it’s a humorous spectacle. My toddler, on the other hand, erupts in tears, often resulting in a messy cleanup. - Litter Boxes vs. Potty Training
Cats have the courtesy to use a litter box and cover their mess. My last encounter with my toddler’s potty training ended with him proudly announcing his mishap on the floor and leaving a trail behind. - Traveling Peacefully
Both cats and toddlers despise car rides, but if my cat throws a tantrum, I can take him to the vet for a calming sedative. Trying that with a child would likely land me in a heap of trouble. - Napping Champions
Getting my toddler to nap is akin to wrestling a bear. Cats, however, can snooze anywhere, anytime, without demanding attention the moment I lie down next to them. - Sound Alerts
While it’s deemed unsafe to adorn a toddler with a bell, it would certainly help alert me to their nighttime wanderings. Instead, I often wake to a shadowy figure breathing down my neck. - Less Trauma
When my cat strolls in during intimate moments, he’s simply curious. Kids, however, might require therapy after such an incident, which can be quite the distraction. - Sleep Arrangements
Even if my husband and I manage some alone time, our toddler invariably ends up in our bed, claiming the majority of the space. My cat, meanwhile, finds a cozy spot in the laundry basket. - Simple Solutions
For those dealing with teenagers, the solution is straightforward: spay and neuter. No complicated discussions necessary. - Grooming Ease
Bathing my toddler is like entering a wrestling match. Cats groom themselves quietly, and I only deal with the occasional fur ball—nothing compared to the mess my kids can create. - Addressing Infestations
If my cat encounters fleas, a collar and a week in the garage will suffice. I’d much rather avoid the painstaking process of nitpicking through my children’s hair. - Resourcefulness
Cats are adept at finding their own meals if I forget to feed them. Kids, on the other hand, expect three square meals a day without fail. - Efficient Discipline
With cats, a quick squirt of water can deter undesirable behavior. Trying to discipline a child often turns into a lengthy negotiation. - Respectful Communication
My cat has never told me he hates me or refused food. Though I suspect he’s given me the side-eye on occasion. - Physical Resilience
Cats are known for their agility and always land on their feet, unlike toddlers, who seem magnetically drawn to hard surfaces. - Milk Without Consequences
When my cat enjoys milk, I don’t experience any discomfort. Unlike the challenges that come with breastfeeding.
After three kids in five years, I often feel like I’ve seen better days. The Crazy Cat Lady can leave her pets at home while shopping for Christmas outfits, and she won’t attract any unwanted attention. In this light, it seems she has the better end of the deal.
For more insights on family planning and related topics, check out this post on the home insemination kit. If you’re interested in exploring deeper topics about pregnancy, visit Medical News Today for excellent resources on fertility. Also, for those considering at-home options, Make A Mom offers valuable information on insemination kits.
Summary
In conclusion, while parenting can be a rewarding experience, the simplicity and humor found in having cats might just be the less complicated path. From their self-sufficiency to the laughs they provide, cats could be a preferable option in another life.