I recently found myself at a baby shower for a longtime friend whose young partner is expecting their first child. As I sat among her college friends, all embarking on the exciting yet daunting adventure of parenthood, one young woman turned to me, astonished to learn that I have four children. “I can’t even begin to imagine being a mother right now,” she chuckled to her friends before asking me directly, “What is it really like?”
“It’s wonderful,” I replied. “Challenging, yes, but incredibly fulfilling.” She beamed at my response but returned her gaze to the mini-muffins on the table. In that moment, I realized my answer barely scratched the surface, and I pondered what I would truly say if given the opportunity to articulate the essence of motherhood. So here it is.
Being a mother means perpetually feeling as though you’re never doing enough while simultaneously being overwhelmed by the demands of nurturing another human being. It’s the relentless cycle of caring, feeding, and organizing activities, all while grappling with the guilt of what you’re not achieving.
To be a mother is to wrestle with decisions. You might find yourself spending hours selecting the perfect back-to-school backpack or debating which organic snack options are best. You feel the weight of responsibility when your child’s meal isn’t made from all-natural ingredients or when you have to visit multiple stores just to find dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets—it’s all about making them smile.
A mother’s heart aches for her child’s wants and needs, even when faced with the harsh realities of poverty in the world. You may recognize how fortunate your children are, yet still yearn to provide them with more. That feeling of guilt can be overwhelming, even when they have everything they need.
Being a mother also means sharing in the sorrows of others. Before I had children, I felt sad when I heard of a mother with a sick child. Now, it’s unfathomable. I empathize deeply with her grief, carrying that weight in my heart. I allow my mind to drift into the darkest thoughts, imagining if it were my child suffering, and the thought is crushing.
Motherhood grants you a profound respect for parents of children with special needs, as you live with a constant, underlying fear of childhood diseases, food allergies, and other trials. You also experience the surreal joy of looking into your child’s eyes and seeing a reflection of yourself. It’s reliving your own childhood through their eyes and rediscovering the magic of fairy tales and the taste of nostalgic sweets.
A mother rides the emotional rollercoaster of her child’s triumphs and failures. Every achievement they make feels like a victory for you, and you celebrate with fervor. You begin to understand the truth behind your own parents’ words: the pain of discipline often hurts you more than it hurts them, and no matter their age, they will always hold a special place in your heart.
You may find yourself wanting to change the world, feeling powerless when faced with images of children suffering from poverty and injustice. Yet, the grind of daily life can make those feelings fade into the background.
As a mother, you crave moments of solitude, only to realize how much you miss your kids in their absence. A “girls’ night out” often turns into conversations about your children, discussing everything from potty training to school projects, even while dressed in your finest.
You may grapple with your beliefs about the afterlife, as the thought of eternity without your child is unbearable. Frustrations can arise over minor issues; you might raise your voice or say something you regret, only to later feel remorseful. You discover a surprising resilience, functioning on little sleep and quick meals while still striving to do your best, even when there is no clear right way to navigate motherhood.
Ultimately, being a mother is to experience an indescribable love—a soul-deep, all-encompassing affection for your child that is unlike anything else. However, it’s important to note that each woman’s experience of motherhood is uniquely her own. Thus, if she were to ask me again, I would still simply say, “It’s wonderful,” hoping she would one day get to discover the profound depths of this journey for herself.
For more insights on pregnancy and motherhood, I encourage you to explore excellent resources like WHO’s pregnancy page and to consider learning more about home insemination options at Make A Mom’s site. Don’t forget to check out our privacy policy here for more information.