Each time I find myself away from my little one for an extended period, I frequently receive the same inquiry: “Don’t you miss him?” To be honest, the answer is no.
As a physician who is fortunate enough to balance my career with motherhood, I often have to juggle the demands of my profession with my role as a parent. My schedule is filled with appointments, research, and commitments that keep me engaged in my work. I also have a toddler who delights in playing with toys and exploring new stories, firmly believing I am the only one who can soothe him into slumber.
My job occasionally necessitates time away from my child, whether it’s attending a medical conference or collaborating with colleagues on urgent cases. Whenever I engage in activities that don’t involve my son, I am almost always asked if I miss him. The head tilts and raised eyebrows from others suggest they can’t fathom how I manage being away from my child.
In response, I often follow the expected script and say it’s difficult and that I can’t wait to return home, which is partly true. However, the deeper truth is that I genuinely enjoy my work and the opportunities it brings. When I’m engrossed in a medical case or discussing treatment options with a patient, my mind isn’t occupied with thoughts of my child—I’m fully present in what I’m doing, relishing the sense of purpose and fulfillment it provides.
In fact, I look forward to the time I spend away from him—not because he’s overwhelming (though he can be!), but because I appreciate engaging in my professional pursuits. I treasure my moments with him, but I also value time spent focusing on my career, friends, and personal projects that I can’t tackle when he’s around.
So, no, I don’t miss my child when I’m away. Mothers often feel pressured to express longing for their children when pursuing their careers, while fathers rarely face the same scrutiny. Society seems to expect women to lament their time away from home, portraying them as if they would prefer to be stay-at-home moms if given the chance. But my situation is different; I choose to work. I’m not just supporting my family; I’m nurturing my own ambitions and identity, and that’s not something I owe anyone an apology for.
Of course, guilt occasionally creeps in, whispering that I’m a selfish parent or that I’m failing in some way. It’s the same voice that tells me I should be doing more or that I’m not enough. I strive to silence that voice, but it’s persistent and can be challenging to ignore.
Yes, there are fleeting moments when I miss my son, but those feelings arise right before I reunite with him or immediately after saying goodbye. They are less about longing and more about impatience—I can’t wait to see him again. When I am working, however, my focus is on my career.
So when you ask me if I miss my son during work hours, I might nod and say what you expect to hear, but it’s only part of the story. The truth is, I find immense value and satisfaction beyond my role as a mother.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Resources for Further Reading
For more insights on home insemination, check out this article at Intracervical Insemination. If you’re interested in exploring options for artificial insemination, Make a Mom offers excellent resources. Additionally, American Pregnancy provides valuable information on donor insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, it’s completely normal for mothers to enjoy their careers and find fulfillment outside of parenting. Embracing both roles can lead to a well-rounded and satisfying life.