Dear Little One,
As I glance over at you, I see you happily rolling over for the second time today. While I’m in the midst of tending to your older sibling, who seems to have turned the living room into a snack disaster zone, I think to myself, “You’re doing amazing!” Yet, did I voice that pride? Did I tell you how much joy you bring me?
I just laid you down on your activity mat, intending to spend some quiet time with you, discussing the vibrant colors and shapes around us. But the moment I turn my back to check on your brother, silence fills the room, raising my instincts. I find him joyfully scattering his snacks all over the floor! As I pick up the puffed treats, your coos start to turn into cries. Regrettably, you are left waiting for my attention while I redirect your brother’s antics. I quickly glance at the clock, realizing it’s time for your nap. I rush through diaper changes, hurriedly placing you in your crib, all the while hoping I remembered to say ‘sweet dreams’ or ‘I love you.’
During our busy days, I often find myself multitasking—nursing you while also answering emails or keeping a watchful eye on your brother as he embarks on yet another adventure up the stairs. Our nursing sessions lack the peaceful bonding I envisioned; instead, they feel rushed and practical.
As I prepare dinner, trying to juggle everything, I can’t help but reminisce about the time when it was just you and your brother. I would sing and dance while cooking, engaging him in the process. But now, I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I often worry if my divided attention might impact you emotionally. I silently pray that you’ll be just as bright and capable as your sibling, hoping that my busy schedule won’t hinder your growth.
Then, your father walks through the door, bringing a wave of relief. The delight on your face when he greets you is heartwarming. I’m grateful for his presence, but at that moment, I can’t shake the thought: Did I bring you enough smiles today?
Evening routines are a whirlwind of tidying up toys, washing dishes, and preparing for bath time. As I hurriedly dress you in your pajamas, I’m reminded of the fleeting moments we share. I vow to carve out time for you, even if it means reading an extra bedtime story or swaying with you in the kitchen while I prepare meals.
As I cuddle you for our last feeding of the day, we say our prayers together. I kiss your forehead and hold you close, hoping you feel the love I carry for you, even through my busy days. Once you’re nestled in your crib, I reflect on the day—grateful, yet aware of my shortcomings.
You are a light in my life, and your resilient spirit never ceases to amaze me. I promise to commit to being more present, to capture those special moments that define our bond. Whether it’s simply rocking you longer before your nap or sharing a dance in the kitchen, I pledge to show you my love in tangible ways.
It’s incredible to think how you’ve transformed our lives. From this day forward, I will strive to be the mother you deserve. Regardless of the chaos around us, you are always in my heart and thoughts.
With love,
Dr. Emily