It’s hard to believe that “Pretty Woman” hit screens 25 years ago on March 23, 1990. I was just a teenager, grappling with a love life that was more theoretical than practical—I hadn’t yet experienced the thrill of a first kiss or the awkwardness of a date. The romantic-comedy genre itself was just beginning to regain its footing, thanks in part to the previous year’s success of “When Harry Met Sally.” Once “Pretty Woman” came along, raking in an astounding $463 million, Hollywood’s output of rom-coms exploded—doubling from the 1980s to the 1990s. With no dating experience of my own, this film and its countless imitations became my go-to guide for relationships.
I genuinely can’t remember a time in my youth without “Pretty Woman” shaping my perspective, which feels like a dramatic statement, much like the declarations made by Julia Roberts’ character, Vivian, as she navigates her feelings for Edward Lewis, the charming businessman played by Richard Gere. Over the years, during moments of unhealthy relationships, frustrating arguments, and encounters with emotionally distant partners, I didn’t realize how significantly this film impacted my skewed view on romance and relationships. All the toxic behaviors I exhibited were mirrored in this movie; the connection is undeniable.
Let’s be clear—my grievances with “Pretty Woman” extend beyond its clichéd hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold narrative or the notion that true love hinges on a woman needing saving. Sure, the film has faced criticism for its outdated gender roles, but its exploration of relationships is surprisingly relevant. The witty banter prevalent in classic Hollywood films often highlighted the playful battle of the sexes, while “Pretty Woman” serves up a different flavor of flirtation—one laced with passive-aggressive jabs.
Take, for instance, Edward’s remarks to Vivian, like when he mocks her for making $100 an hour while sporting a safety pin on her boot. These aren’t just playful quips; they’re thinly veiled insults. Their explosive arguments, particularly one in the lavish Beverly Wilshire penthouse, echo the fights I endured in relationships for years after college. Vivian’s lines, meant to provoke Edward into action, were eerily familiar to me—they’re the same lines girlfriends use when they want their partners to chase after them, to confirm their worth.
Movies often depict conflict in ways that can warp our expectations. I found myself, like Vivian, caught in a cycle of testing my partners without directly communicating my feelings. Instead of striving for mutual understanding, it felt like a competition where the goal was to emerge victorious, not reconciled.
Vivian embodies what some might call a Manic Pixie Dream Girl or, in modern terms, the “Cool Girl” archetype—a woman who seems to exist solely to cater to a man’s desires. Watching her today is a stark reminder of how often I felt the need to mold myself into what I believed a partner wanted. Edward, with his cavalier attitude, constantly critiqued Vivian, from her hair to her behavior, making her feel less than she was.
Despite my own struggles, I found myself drawn to similar types: charming yet unreliable men who subtly undermined my worth. Like Vivian, I often bore the brunt of relationship conflicts, convinced my emotional baggage was the root of our problems. I was not a hooker with a heart of gold, but I was certainly a woman with a resilient spirit.
What frustrates me most about “Pretty Woman” is how it trivializes Vivian’s desire for a genuine partnership. Her wish for a balanced relationship with Edward is dismissed as a fairytale longing, reduced to a need for rescue. In the film’s closing moments, when Vivian says she’ll “rescue him right back,” I can’t help but wish she’d just kick him to the curb.
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Summary
“Pretty Woman” has shaped many perceptions of romance and relationships, often distorting the truth about love and conflict. As I reflect on its impact, I recognize how it taught me unhealthy patterns and expectations in dating. It’s essential to seek genuine connections rather than live in the realm of cinematic fantasies.
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