“Real isn’t how you are made,” said a wise character in a beloved tale. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
When I think back to my younger self, I picture a woman with abundant free time, a lustrous mane of hair, and not a wrinkle in sight. Life seemed simple, and I had little to stress about—yet I found ways to worry.
Now, as I navigate the complexities of motherhood, having welcomed three beautiful children into my life, I’ve learned a few essential lessons. Through sleepless nights and the whirlwind of parenting, I’ve come to understand that sometimes, like Elsa, you just need to let things go. Life has a way of resolving itself if you allow it to. My fears about handling life’s challenges have lessened, and I’ve realized that while I may raise my voice occasionally, it’s crucial not to sweat the small stuff.
If I could share wisdom with my younger self, I’d tell her to embrace the journey. Here are four key insights I wish I had known:
1. It’s OK to Take a Breather.
It’s important to strive for excellence, but remember that failure is part of the process. You might forget your child’s special day at school, leading to tears and guilt. However, the next day, that love will shine through forgiveness. You’ll have good days, and yes, difficult ones, but they balance out. Be kind to yourself.
2. Your Relationship Will Evolve for the Better.
Many clichés hold truth. Yes, you’ll experience exhaustion and crankiness, and you may find yourself in a minivan, juggling schedules. You might grumble about your partner’s habits or feel resentment during periods of maternity leave. But he will surprise you by taking an active role—packing lunches, cooking meals, and even reading stories with enthusiasm. Together, you will still find laughter amidst the chaos, and your bond will deepen. Cherish this connection; you’ve got a keeper.
3. Your Body Will Transform.
Acknowledge that your body is going to change after having children. It’s natural to feel bewildered when looking in the mirror, but remember that bras can work wonders! Your partner will still find you attractive, so don’t lose hope. Embrace the new you and all that it entails.
4. Savor Every Moment, Even the Tough Ones.
Life is fleeting, and the challenges will pass. While it’s tough to find joy during hard times, look back fondly on the fun moments. Be playful with your kids, make blanket forts, and enjoy those spontaneous adventures. Capture those memories with photographs, hold hands with your partner, and express love to your family. Life is truly beautiful if you allow it to be.
Above all, understand that change is a constant. Don’t get trapped in the need to control every aspect. Embrace the unpredictability, for you’re about to experience incredible joy with your three children who will love you deeply, making you feel truly Real.
For more guidance on this journey, check out this insightful blog post about navigating parenthood. If you’re exploring home insemination, Make a Mom offers excellent resources to help you on your path. Additionally, UCSF’s fertility page provides valuable information regarding pregnancy and insurance.
In summary, life as a parent is both challenging and rewarding. Embrace the journey, learn to let go, and celebrate the love that surrounds you.