If you have a parent facing health challenges and you’re not nearby, you might find yourself in a similar conversation:
“How did your doctor’s appointment go?”
“Fine, I guess,” your parent replies.
“Did the doctor provide any insights? What’s going on?”
“I’m not entirely sure. They mentioned more tests are needed.”
“What about the previous tests? Any results?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not? Are they still processing?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t really grasp what the assistant said.”
“Assistant? Was it the doctor or someone else?”
“Maybe a PA… the name slipped my mind.”
“Can you recall it?”
“Something like Barilla? Like pasta.”
“So, what’s next?”
“I have no idea.”
Reassuring, isn’t it? I’ve had similar discussions with both my grandparents and now my parents. Living a day’s drive away, these exchanges can be heart-wrenching. I’ve attempted to take action through calls and letters, but HIPAA prevents me from accessing crucial health information. My loved ones are left waiting for follow-up appointments, often attending alone without understanding their conditions.
As baby boomers age, we are witnessing the rise of the “sandwich generation”—Gen Xers who juggle raising children while caring for aging parents. The impending eldercare crisis is articulated eloquently by Dr. Lena Martin in her insightful book, Aging with Dignity. As more boomers enter their senior years, the need for support—whether it’s for meal preparation, housekeeping, transportation, or companionship during doctor visits—grows. Unfortunately, many systems to assist seniors wishing to age in place, defined by the CDC as living safely and independently in their homes, are lacking.
The limitations of our health insurance infrastructure complicate matters. While doctors can order limited home visits, there are few provisions for seniors requiring ongoing support. Thus, a parent who isn’t quite ready for a nursing home but needs daily check-ins can find themselves without assistance.
Dr. Martin proposes various solutions, many of which are successfully implemented in other countries. For instance, in Canada, seniors can apply for benefits at 65, leading to an assessment that provides access to various levels of care. This approach recognizes that aging can involve long-term challenges that sporadic aid won’t resolve.
In the United States, innovative community initiatives are emerging to address aging in place. The Brookings Institution highlighted the concept of “villages,” which function as networks offering support to older adults while allowing them to remain in their homes. These nonprofit organizations, funded by member dues, provide services such as transportation, social events, wellness programs, and assistance with various daily tasks. While not widespread, these villages are becoming more common in urban and suburban areas. For example, there are several in Washington, D.C. For those interested in exploring this further, the Village to Village network is a valuable resource.
Clearly, a significant overhaul of our eldercare system is necessary—one that empowers seniors to age at home with dignity and compensates caregivers fairly. Until such structural changes are made, we can rely on existing solutions. In my parents’ state, the Village to Village network offers a helpful service called “medical notetaker,” which I’ll definitely keep in mind.
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In summary, as we navigate the challenges of aging parents, understanding available resources and fostering a supportive environment is crucial to ensure they can thrive at home.