Growing up, my mother was never one to keep a watchful eye on me. Instead, she encouraged me to head outside while she busied herself with household tasks or visiting friends. Back then, it was common for children to play outdoors while parents attended to their responsibilities.
Now, I find myself observing my daughter engrossed in her block play. The sunlight dances in her sensitive blue eyes, prompting her to shift slightly. She narrates a tale of a castle, a slumbering baby princess, and dinosaur sisters guarding their realm. In these moments, I sometimes grapple with guilt. Should I be there, engaging with her? Should I be teaching her the alphabet? Should I be on the floor beside her to convey my love?
Yet, I often encourage both her and her brother to venture outside, even into the wilds of our forested home. I recall a time when my son, at just three years old, lounged in a hammock while a bear wandered perilously close. He was frightened, yet exhilarated, and that memory has stayed with him. Yes, there are risks—coyotes, mountain lions, even owls—but I believe that the outdoors is essential for their growth. My only rule? They must not play alone during dusk.
Today’s parenting culture often dictates that we monitor our children’s every move, shielding them from every possible misstep. The goal seems to be creating pristine, bubble-wrapped kids peering through spotless windows. While there are indeed dangers in the world, I argue that hovering too closely robs them of vital experiences—memories, lessons, and stories that shape who they become.
For instance, my husband, when he was six, took a solo trek through the forest and made a regrettable choice by packing a wound with mud after an accident. That scar serves as a lifelong reminder of that adventure. These marks on our bodies tell stories; they map our journeys. Protecting our children to the point of sterility means they may grow up without the scars—the stories that guide them in life.
I want my children to have the same freedom I experienced, to explore, to tumble over rock forts, and to make decisions—good or bad—independently. My mother was blissfully unaware of much of my life, and I want that same freedom for them. A life filled with experiences, and yes, some scars too.
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In summary, while there are undeniable dangers in the world, allowing children the freedom to explore is essential for their development. It fosters independence, resilience, and the stories they will carry with them throughout their lives.