Updated: November 10, 2015
Originally Published: November 10, 2015
As a pediatrician and a parent, I’ve witnessed and experienced the rollercoaster of raising spirited and emotional children. My first child, who is now a young adult, was a notoriously colicky baby. For eight exhausting months, she cried almost incessantly, and I often wondered if I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully, after those challenging early months, she blossomed into a sweet and compliant toddler. If I warned her, “Don’t touch that; it’s hot,” she would heed my words without hesitation, and bedtime was typically a breeze. I felt like I had nailed parenting.
However, that feeling of triumph was short-lived. Just as I celebrated my parenting successes, I discovered I was pregnant again—surprise! My second child, Marcus, was born healthy and seemed to be an easygoing baby. Yet, as soon as he turned one, things shifted dramatically. The tantrums began, accompanied by incessant screaming and early morning wake-ups. I quickly realized that parenting was not a one-size-fits-all experience.
Through my journey as a parent of five, I have learned invaluable lessons about children and their unique temperaments. It’s crucial to recognize that a child’s behavior is often a blend of their inherent traits and the environment they grow up in. Some children may be naturally spirited and emotional, making parenting feel like an uphill battle.
One important insight is that the most challenging children can also be the most intelligent. This doesn’t mean every spirited child is a genius, but sometimes their intense emotions stem from a lack of understanding of their surroundings. Engaging with them to clarify situations can ease their frustrations, as I found with Marcus, who needed help grasping concepts beyond his immediate comprehension.
Moreover, there are times when children simply need space to process their feelings. When overwhelmed, it’s okay to let them retreat to a quiet area to regroup. Communicate that you’re available when they’re ready to talk, but allow them that necessary solitude.
Crying is another emotional release that children often need. They don’t possess the same coping mechanisms as adults, so providing them with a safe and supportive environment to express their emotions is essential.
Establishing routines can also help. Children benefit from consistency, especially when managing emotions. For instance, if a child knows they can watch TV at a specific time, it creates a sense of security and reduces anxiety. While some parenting philosophies suggest allowing kids to set their own schedules, this approach may not suit every child, particularly those who thrive on structure.
Physical comfort can also play a pivotal role during tantrums. Sometimes, all a child needs is a big hug to calm them down and block out overwhelming stimuli. Environmental factors, like noise, can heighten their distress, so creating a calm atmosphere can also be beneficial.
It’s worth noting that a child’s emotional state often mirrors their caregiver’s. Staying calm can be incredibly challenging, but it’s vital. Techniques like deep breathing or stepping away for a moment can help you maintain your composure.
Offering choices is another effective strategy. Instead of overwhelming them with options, present two clear choices to foster a sense of control. For example, instead of saying, “Clean up your toys,” you might say, “You can either put your toys away or I’ll do it for you and put them outside.” This creates a sense of empowerment without overwhelming them.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many parents face similar struggles, and it’s essential to know that you’re doing the best you can. You will navigate through these challenges and emerge on the other side.
For additional insights into parenting and fertility journeys, consider checking out resources like Make a Mom, which offers valuable guidance. You can also explore Intracervical Insemination for more tips on home insemination, and WomensHealth.gov for comprehensive information on pregnancy.
Summary
Parenting spirited or challenging children is a unique journey that blends understanding their inherent traits with providing the right environment. Establishing routines, offering choices, and recognizing the importance of emotional expression are key strategies. Remember, it’s a shared experience, and you’re doing your best.