There are numerous truths about motherhood that caught me off guard when I became a parent. Here are three revelations I wish I’d known beforehand:
- Labor is far more painful than you can fathom.
- Breastfeeding can be quite uncomfortable.
- The teenage years are equally challenging (refer back to point one).
However, the most significant detail that seems to elude conversation is that parenting, much like pregnancy, is a temporary role.
We often hear the misconception that parenting is a lifelong commitment, that your children will perpetually rely on you. In reality, I believe that parenting should be viewed as a short-term assignment. Remember how pregnancy felt like it stretched on for ages? Time seemed to crawl as your body transformed, only for it to culminate in a rapid moment of change. One moment you’re pregnant, and the next, your life is irrevocably altered. Regardless of how long it takes, the conclusion of pregnancy is inevitable.
So it stands to reason that parenting, too, has an endpoint—though it’s rarely discussed, and its timeline can be elusive. Similar to pregnancy, the early days of parenting can feel infinite—sleepless nights, stress over school issues, endless hours of homework, and the chaos of extracurricular activities. Then, just like that, everything shifts. One moment your guidance is crucial, and the next, your input is no longer solicited.
Veteran parents often told me that parenting would be the hardest yet most rewarding job I’d ever have. Yet, none ever mentioned that it’s the only profession where hard work and a bit of luck can lead to being let go. Ironically, you truly reach the pinnacle of parenting when you find yourself out of a job.
As I embrace this reality, I recognize that if I’ve done my job well (and with a sprinkle of luck), I will transition from a full-time parent to a part-time consultant—only to be called upon when needed, be it for advice or financial assistance. If I’ve set my children up for success, my role will diminish. Instead of receiving a gold watch, I’ll be rewarded with competent, thoughtful, and caring young adults. Congratulations! You’re fired.
Of course, I may still engage in occasional parenting. The phone may ring, and one of my kids might reach out for help with something mundane, like how to prepare an artichoke. Perhaps I’ll get a call lamenting a lost wallet or a broken heart. Yet, at its core, I believe that the parenting role is designed for eventual obsolescence. While I will always be a parent, the active act of parenting will fade, ideally as my children become self-sufficient.
When my kids no longer need me, that’s the ultimate affirmation that I’ve succeeded. After all, what’s the incentive for completing this daunting project if not the proof of their independence? There are already signs that my parenting efforts bore fruit: the countless birthday celebrations, the family dramas, and the late-night rescue missions are evidenced by my graying hair and the troves of family photos. Most importantly, the tangible proof of my work lies in the capable young adults who share my DNA and love for film.
My eldest has successfully navigated her first year after college and is thriving in her career. My middle child took the initiative to explore a gap year across the country and has now settled into college. My youngest, a high school freshman, is well on his way to independence.
It appears my parenting duties are dwindling, with many tasks now handled by alarms, laundromats, friends, and mentors. I anticipate a future where I am jobless, relying on my children to manage their own lives—waking up on time, seeking job opportunities, and obtaining emotional support when needed. I trust they will evolve into the capable, passionate, and caring adults the world requires.
I’m comfortable with the prospect that their success equates to my job loss. I’ll remain present as a consultant, ready to assist when necessary, though largely underemployed. If you’re looking for resources on this journey, check out this article for more insights on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re interested in boosting your fertility, here’s a link to some valuable supplements. For further guidance on this subject, feel free to explore our blog post.
In summary, parenting is a phase that ultimately leads to independence—for both the children and the parents. While the journey may be filled with challenges, the goal remains to cultivate self-sufficient, thriving adults who can navigate life on their own.