Parenting is undoubtedly a challenging journey. As parents, we are tasked with nurturing children to become happy, healthy, and ethical individuals, often without having fully developed those qualities ourselves. My own experience in this role has been filled with learning curves, and I’ve certainly faced my share of uncertainties.
However, I’ve discovered a beneficial approach that simplifies my parenting journey: consistently asking myself one straightforward question that not only guides my decisions but also enhances my character. This question acts as a moral touchstone that aligns with my experiences as a human being. The question is simple yet profound: What would I advise my children to do?
I find myself answering this question countless times each day on behalf of my kids. For instance, when my toddler decides to explore her nose for the umpteenth time, I remind her, “No nose-picking,” because it’s not just unhygienic, it’s socially unacceptable. When my son tests boundaries and continues to poke at his sister despite my pleas to stop, I send him to his room, reinforcing the importance of listening and self-control.
As I guide my son through life’s lessons on kindness, setting limits, and hard work, I weave these teachings into both the mundane and significant moments he encounters. But what happens when I face my own dilemmas?
I’ve come to realize that my children are always observing my actions. They will emulate my behavior far more than they will heed my words. If I want them to thrive in the world, I must lead by example.
When I’m confronted with a decision, I envision that I’m advising my grown children. I ask myself, What would I tell them? If a frustrating email from work pops up on a Friday night, would I encourage my adult daughter to obsess over it while her family enjoys game night? Or would I suggest she take a break, go for a jog, and return to it with fresh eyes come Monday? Naturally, I would advise the latter—but not long ago, I might have done the opposite.
If my son were pursuing a passion but receiving little recognition initially, would I encourage him to quit? Or would I tell him to persist, set goals, and learn from any setbacks? I know I’d motivate him to embrace hard work and resilience, and I’ve started applying this mindset to my own aspirations.
Reflecting on my life, there are many choices I’m proud of, yet there are also decisions I wouldn’t want my children to replicate. Now, when faced with choices that require positivity over negativity or maturity over childishness, I pause and consider, What would I tell my kids to do? More often than not, this reflection leads me to the right answer. My track record isn’t flawless, but perfection isn’t the goal; it’s about modeling the journey of growth.
While my children may not always be listening, I trust they are watching and learning. For more insights on parenting and family dynamics, you can check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Kindbody.
In summary, asking myself what I would advise my children to do has significantly improved both my parenting and my personal development. It has helped me align my actions with my values and set a positive example for my kids.