I hope you’re doing well! It feels like ages since we last caught up (you know, life, work, and all that). I recently stumbled upon your lovely Instagram post from the weekend, and I felt compelled to share a little insight I wish I had known before I became a parent. You looked stunning in that photo! You and your partner were all dressed up, enjoying a fancy meal, and that glass of wine in your hand looked simply delightful. It’s clear you were excited for your date night, so much so that you captured the moment with a selfie tagged “#Datenight!”
But here’s the thing you might not fully appreciate yet: when you don’t have kids, every night can feel like a date night. I know you might think that a date must involve a fancy restaurant or a special outfit, but the essence of a date is simply spending quality one-on-one time with the one you love. Before becoming a parent, you likely experienced this regularly. Whether it was grabbing pizza because cooking seemed too exhausting or enjoying frozen yogurt after dinner with friends, each of those moments counted! Casual hikes, movie nights, or even a scenic Sunday drive all qualify as dates. Your pre-kid life was essentially a collection of date nights, seamlessly blending together.
As a parent myself, especially with a little one who isn’t a fan of sitters, I often find myself envying couples who can easily go out on dates. For my husband and me, planning a date night requires significant effort: we have to coordinate schedules months in advance, find a babysitter, and hope our baby doesn’t fall ill. If we manage to pull it off, we often choose a nearby spot, keep our phones handy for emergencies, and rush home before the inevitable countdown turns my blouse into a milk-stained mess.
The preparation for a simple dinner out can feel overwhelming and is a rare occurrence. I’ve found myself donning my proverbial rose-tinted glasses, labeling even the most mundane activities as dates just to share on social media and recapture that feeling of togetherness. Watching Netflix in sweatpants covered in baby spit? If we’re holding hands while the baby sleeps, I’ll call it a date! Bumping into each other at the grocery store (remembering to pick up milk) while sharing a cart? That’s a date! And yes, even munching on meatballs at Ikea while the little one naps in the stroller qualifies, especially if we’re facing each other.
I know you might be tired of hearing how challenging parenthood can be and how it encroaches on your freedom. While I wouldn’t trade my child for anything, and the joy of motherhood outweighs the struggles, I occasionally miss the ease of connecting with my partner one-on-one. So, my advice to you, dear childless friends, is to cherish those date nights—or should I say, date-lives?
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In summary, while the transition to parenthood is filled with joy, it often comes with the bittersweet realization that the simple, spontaneous dates of your past become more difficult to achieve. So, enjoy every moment of your date nights while you can!