Updated: September 22, 2023
Originally Published: October 28, 2015
Alright, second-time dads (or third or fourth), let’s get real. Unless you’re living in a castle, the mother of your newest little one isn’t surrounded by a team of helpers to ensure her postpartum experience is as royal as it should be. Who’s her support system? You.
When your first child was born, you probably spent a considerable amount of time in the hospital. You may not have noticed every nurse, doctor, and lactation consultant who checked in on your partner, but you certainly observed how they asked, “Is there anything you need? Can I get you a pillow? Would you like some water or a snack?” It was a whirlwind of care, and when you returned home, still processing the delivery and your partner’s experience, you took on the role of caregiver, bringing her food and ensuring she had time to relax.
However, with baby number two, things change. Your attention is divided, and you might not find yourself at the hospital as much, or paying attention to the care your partner is receiving. Now, you’re both seasoned parents, prioritizing your children’s needs over your own, but don’t forget: she still needs a bit of that TLC. Yes, she may appear like Super Mom multitasking between reading to your firstborn and nursing the newborn, but remember, she’s still human. Here are some key points to keep in mind in the weeks following the arrival of your newest addition.
1. Avoid Complaining About Fatigue
Yes, you’re exhausted. Welcoming a second child is no walk in the park. But remember, your partner just endured nine months of pregnancy and the rigors of childbirth. While it’s okay to feel tired, your complaints should be directed elsewhere—perhaps to a friend, your pet, or even a barista. Just not her.
2. Share Your Meals
If you’re munching on a sandwich in the kitchen, make sure another one is ready for her. Caring for a newborn often leaves little time for her to prepare a proper meal. While she can manage to grab a quick snack, it doesn’t mean she should have to. Always ensure she has food and a drink when you’re eating.
3. Recognize Her Jealousy
Your partner may envy every shower and moment you have to yourself, even time spent at work. Though she adores her children, she’s likely feeling the weight of postpartum recovery while juggling multiple responsibilities. Make sure she gets some time to herself each day, even if it’s just a relaxing shower.
4. Track Naptimes
Keep a mental note of how many naps you both get. Let’s be honest—she deserves more. You know this, right?
5. Focus on Being a Parent
Paternity leave is meant for bonding and supporting your family—not for personal projects such as building that outdoor shed you’ve been dreaming about. If work must be done from home, keep it to a minimum and prioritize your family’s needs.
6. Share the Treats
Bringing home a coffee or snack for yourself without one for her? That’s just unkind. She’s likely working hard at home, and a little gesture can go a long way.
It’s important to remember that while she’s busy caring for the kids, she notices your efforts. You might choose to overlook this advice, but be prepared for those moments when she brings up the times you enjoyed a shower or a quiet meal alone during a future conversation. Keeping these tips in mind will help her appreciate all the ways you contribute to your family.
For more insights on family planning and preparation, visit this engaging blog post. If you’re looking for ways to boost your chances of conception, check out these fertility supplements. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources for understanding pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article highlights six essential tips for second-time dads to support their partners during the postpartum phase. Key insights include avoiding complaints about fatigue, sharing meals, recognizing feelings of jealousy, tracking naptimes, focusing on parental duties during leave, and being considerate with treats. By following this advice, dads can help their partners feel appreciated and supported.