October 26, 2023
Before I became a parent, I prided myself on being organized and in control. I often wondered how some people managed to function in chaos. I enjoyed planning ahead, keeping a tidy schedule, and putting thought into my interactions with others. Fast forward to life with children, and I find myself grappling with the reality that my once orderly existence has been replaced by a whirlwind of responsibilities. I despise that I’ve become the disheveled parent I once judged, but it seems to be an inevitable part of the journey. Here are ten things I find myself doing that I wish I could change:
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I often forget to reply to messages.
The moment a text comes through, I feel compelled to read it to eliminate that pesky notification bubble from my phone. Unfortunately, if I don’t respond immediately, the odds of me replying later are slim to none. Though I genuinely want to keep the conversation flowing, I frequently fall short. My friends, mostly fellow parents, understand this struggle all too well, so we forgive one another.
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I rely on multiple alarms for daily tasks.
Before kids, it seemed unfathomable for anyone to forget to pick their child up from school. Now, I set alarms to remind myself when it’s time to prepare the little one for pick-up. I need notifications for everything, from remembering school events to scheduling doctor appointments—without these reminders, I’d be lost.
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My smartphone is my memory.
This ties back to my reliance on alarms. I think I’m so overwhelmed that if I jot something down, my brain clears it from memory. I struggle to recall birthdays, phone numbers, and even basic information, as a quick Google search has become my go-to solution. If I don’t have my to-do list app open, I’m likely to forget vital tasks.
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If it’s not on the calendar, it’s as if it doesn’t exist.
My husband might casually mention a meeting, but unless it’s on my calendar, it might as well be a figment of his imagination. This oversight leads to frustration when an event arrives and I’m caught off guard. I require calendar alerts for everything, or I’m bound to forget.
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I frequently have to reschedule due to overbooking.
I dislike canceling on friends, but there have been instances where I overlooked prior commitments and ended up double-booked. While I’d love to blame my calendar, the truth is I often don’t check it before agreeing to new plans.
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We are almost always running late.
Arriving on time used to be a priority for me, but now it feels like a luxury. The reality is that with kids, someone always seems to need a last-minute bathroom break just as we’re heading out the door. I miss the days when I had a comfortable buffer before appointments.
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I’m perpetually behind.
Despite maintaining a to-do list, it never seems to get shorter. The house is never truly clean, tasks are never fully completed, and my children are always asking for the next meal. The only time I can truly unwind is when I’ve finished everything on my list, which ironically makes relaxation feel like a guilty pleasure.
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I don’t reach out to loved ones as often.
I used to be diligent about checking in with friends and family. Now, I find myself setting reminders just to maintain those connections. I miss the ease of spontaneous conversations and the ability to keep up with important moments in their lives.
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I no longer plan thoughtful surprises.
I used to take pride in finding the perfect gifts and crafting personal notes, but now I often settle for last-minute, thoughtless gifts. My planning usually only stretches a few days ahead, making it difficult to be as considerate as I’d like to be.
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I rarely wrap presents anymore.
In line with my gift-giving struggles, wrapping presents has become a rarity. If you’re lucky, you might receive a gift in a bag, complete with no frills. Family members often get their presents still in the store’s bag.
I’m certain I’m not alone in feeling like I’ve transformed into the disorganized parent I once vowed I wouldn’t become. I could reach out to some mom friends about this, but like me, they might be too busy to respond (see No. 1). If you’re navigating similar challenges, you might find useful insights on topics like home insemination and parenting at Intracervical Insemination, or check out Cryobaby’s At-Home Insemination Kit for more resources. For those seeking guidance on fertility and pregnancy, ACOG’s FAQs can be a great help.
Summary:
Navigating motherhood can turn even the most organized individuals into chaotic versions of themselves. The author reflects on ten habits that illustrate the struggles of parenting, from forgetting messages to relying on technology for memory, and the difficulties of maintaining connections with loved ones. Ultimately, these experiences resonate with many parents who grapple with the challenges of balancing their responsibilities.