Parenting
Does It All Truly Matter?
by Dr. Lisa Hartman
Oct. 25, 2023
I’ve always been someone who dives deep into thought. While some might view this as a flaw, others may see it as a strength. My tendency to overthink is often labeled anxiety or excessive analysis; I find these terms interchangeable, as they capture the essence of this inner struggle.
Recently, I’ve been grappling with a fundamental question: Does anything I do truly hold significance?
- Does the time I spent outdoors with my children hold any weight?
- Did my conversation with a friend on the phone make any real difference?
- Do the piled-up baskets of clean laundry actually matter?
- Do the insights I shared in my latest article have any importance?
- Will my efforts in writing a book resonate, or will they go unread?
- If I return to my practice as a therapist, will it have any impact?
The answer is yes. Everything I do, or choose not to do, is significant. Not in the sense that my life will spiral out of control if I neglect household chores, but because I impart meaning to my actions.
It matters that I skipped washing the dishes this morning to cuddle with my ailing child. Those moments of connection are invaluable. The laundry piling up signifies the importance of nurturing my family—it matters.
Vacuuming the floor last night mattered as well. Not because it was necessary for appearances, but because engaging in that repetitive action provided me with a therapeutic outlet. It was a moment of clarity amidst the chaos in my mind.
Writing a heartfelt piece about my battle with addiction mattered. Sharing my journey offered hope to someone grappling with their own struggles. That connection, born from my words, could inspire someone to seek help.
Even spending a day binge-watching television mattered; it allowed me to rest my weary body after pushing my limits. Taking time for self-care is essential, as it fosters healing.
I regretfully raised my voice at my child last week. It was a regrettable moment, yet it mattered because it highlighted my own imperfections and the need for better emotional regulation. It taught me about vulnerability and the importance of showing my children that I’m human.
Apologizing to my child after losing my temper mattered immensely. Explaining that my actions don’t reflect my love for him reinforced the strength of our bond. It was a lesson in humility and understanding.
The persistent issue of my partner leaving his socks strewn across the floor also holds significance. It serves as a reminder of the little annoyances that come with companionship. These seemingly trivial matters resonate deeply because they reflect the presence of loved ones in my life.
My children’s playful chaos—drawing on walls, throwing dirt, and breaking things—holds meaning as well. Their childhood experiences are fleeting, yet they matter immensely.
The brotherly squabbles between my sons, and their late-night chats, are crucial. These interactions form the foundation of their relationships, and every moment spent together counts.
Ultimately, I matter. You matter. Every action, every moment, matters. While the tasks of daily life may seem insignificant—like doing the dishes or laundry—they contribute to the larger tapestry of our existence. It all matters because it shapes our journey through life.
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In summary, every action and moment in our lives carries weight, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. Embracing the significance of both the big and small events can lead to a more fulfilling existence.