Ah, the moment has arrived. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never achieve the title of “cool mom,” and you know what? I’m absolutely fine with that.
Take a second to reflect on your teenage years. Remember when your mom did something so classically “mom” that it turned your cheeks crimson? I bet you swore to yourself, “When I have kids, I’ll never pull that move!” We’ve all been there, and then we have kids, and suddenly, we become the cringeworthy moms we swore we’d never be.
Let me clarify: I do not aspire to be my daughter’s “#bestie.” Honestly, it’s not on my agenda, and I feel strongly about this. My mom wasn’t my best friend while growing up. I certainly didn’t rush home to spill all the juicy details of my first kiss at 15. I can only imagine her reaction if I had: “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? DON’T DO THAT EVER AGAIN, OR YOU’LL GET INCURABLE MOUTH DISEASES!” Not exactly the response I would want, right? Good thing I’ve got time to work on my own reactions.
I was definitely a late bloomer; my first kiss came later than most of my friends. But now that I’m a mom, 15 seems incredibly young. I’ve heard from my teacher friends that by sixth grade, kids are already engaging in behaviors that I can’t even fathom. Twelve-year-olds experimenting with things I didn’t even know existed at that age? It’s enough to make anyone’s stomach churn.
Honestly, it makes me want to invest in a blowtorch for when those 12-year-old boys come knocking. “Hey, Berkley, wanna ride bikes?” “BACK OFF, JIMMY! Or you’ll find out what this blowtorch can do!” I’m sure my husband would support that purchase wholeheartedly.
Kids today are exposed to a shocking amount of information at such a young age, and it’s disheartening. That’s why I’ll never claim to be “the cool mom” like Amy Poehler’s character in Mean Girls. I can’t be cool. I won’t overlook inappropriate texts or notes in my daughter’s pocket while doing laundry (wait, is that even a thing anymore? I mean texts in her phone!). You bet I’ll be checking her messages periodically. There’s no way I’ll let my daughter have her boyfriend in her room with the door closed while I pretend not to notice. Underage drinking? Not happening under my roof just because “it’s safer at home.” And sleepovers at her boyfriend’s place? Not even if he’s a straight-A student who volunteers at church.
Do I sound like a “Hover Mom”? For those unfamiliar, Urban Dictionary defines “Hover Mom” as a parent who is overly cautious and constantly worried about their child’s safety. Sure, hover moms get a bad rap, but honestly, isn’t it our job to keep a close eye on our kids? I’m proud to hover every now and then.
I do understand there’s a balance when it comes to parenting. I’m not saying my kids will have zero privacy; I want to build trust as they grow. They need room to learn from their mistakes; it’s part of growing up. My aim isn’t for my daughter to resent me—I want her to love and respect me, just as I will love and support her through her teenage years.
Eventually, when the time is right, I hope to become one of my daughter’s closest friends, just like my mom has turned into one of mine. That shift happened after I got married. My mom will always be my mom, but now she’s also one of my best friends. I can talk to her about anything, and that’s the kind of relationship every woman should cherish.
But for now, while my daughter is still innocent and blissfully unaware of the world’s complexities, I’m not her best friend. I’m her mother.
For more insights on parenting and navigating these tricky waters, check out our related blog post about home insemination options here. For additional information about pregnancy, visit this excellent resource from Healthline. And if you’re looking for a comprehensive guide on self-insemination, Make a Mom has you covered!
Summary
In this piece, the author shares her thoughts on the importance of maintaining a parental role rather than being a “cool mom” or best friend to her daughter. She reflects on her own upbringing, the challenges of modern parenting, and the necessity of setting boundaries while still fostering a loving relationship. The author emphasizes the need for guidance during adolescence and expresses hope for a closer friendship in the future.