Parenting
It’s Totally Fine to Just Say ‘No’
Dear New Mom,
Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of motherhood! Congratulations on your precious little one! Since you shared the news of your pregnancy, you’ve probably been bombarded with advice—some gems, some head-scratchers, and a few that are just plain bizarre. While you might feel tempted to nod along and disregard most of it, there’s one piece of wisdom I urge you to embrace in the coming days and weeks: It’s completely okay to just say “no.”
The next few weeks might feel like a whirlwind—don’t fret! That’s perfectly normal. Your life has changed in the most beautiful way, but with that change comes a lot of fatigue and anxiety. Your sole focus will likely be taking care of your baby, and that’s more than fine. In those first few weeks, everyone understands. Neighbors will drop off casseroles, family members will lend a hand with chores, and friends will offer you cute baby clothes while insisting you take a nap. No one will judge you for the messy kitchen, the unkempt lawn, or for not hosting any events. Treasure this time—it’s challenging, but if you have a solid support system, you can take a breather and concentrate on what truly matters.
Now, here’s where it gets amusing—around the time your baby hits the one-month mark, things can change. While your baby is still learning their eat-sleep-poop routine, others might expect you to jump back into the swing of everyday life. You know, the one where you baked six dozen cookies for the church bake sale last fall? This year, just getting to the store for supplies might feel like climbing a mountain. It’s totally okay to just say “no.”
Remember that bridal shower you organized for your cousin? Now, your brain feels foggy enough that sorting laundry seems a monumental task, let alone planning a luncheon for thirty. It’s definitely okay to just say “no.” And going out to lunch with your old college pals might sound like a blast, but you’re probably worried about germs around your baby, and let’s face it—there’s no room for a car seat anyway. It’s absolutely okay to simply say “no.”
You have every right to decline invitations because it’s nap time, because you’re feeling wiped out, or because you just don’t feel up to it. Maybe your baby doesn’t handle afternoons well, or you want to cherish every second before going back to work. Or perhaps breastfeeding is still a bit tricky, and you want to focus on getting that right. You can say “no” because you don’t want your little one around a crowd, or because you prefer a quiet evening at home with your partner. Whatever your reasons may be, if you don’t want to participate, it’s perfectly fine to say “no.”
You can decline politely or firmly, offer an explanation, or simply say “no” and leave it at that. Just remember, don’t agree to something when you really mean “no.”
Being a mom is tough, regardless of your child’s age, but caring for a newborn or a toddler is especially demanding. Don’t feel guilty about prioritizing your baby, yourself, and your family. In time, you’ll find yourself saying “yes” again, and as your children grow, those “yes” moments will far exceed the times you say “no.”
Need more support? Check out our other blog posts for helpful insights, like this one on home insemination, or visit Make a Mom for expert advice about home insemination kits. For further information, the CDC is an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, embrace the power of “no” in your new journey. It’s not only acceptable but necessary to prioritize what matters most during this hectic time.