Updated: July 15, 2021
Originally Published: September 9, 2015
Parenthood
When it comes to parenting, I firmly believe that mothers and fathers should stand on equal ground. However, achieving that balance often depends on individual circumstances. Generally speaking, parents can share the load—whether it’s diaper duty or tackling “The Talk.” In the realm of child-rearing, it’s all about equal opportunity.
But when it comes to the baby-making and nurturing part, it’s clear that moms bear the brunt of the responsibility.
Let’s break down the effort I’ve invested in the baby-making saga:
- 3 C-sections
- 1 surgically repaired uterine septum
- Managing PCOS
- Birth control pills
- Mirena IUD
- Clomid treatments
- Surviving preeclampsia
- Injecting blood thinners into my pregnant belly
Now, here’s what my husband has contributed:
- Provided sperm
- Withheld sperm
Ah, that’s just the way it is, isn’t it? But here’s the twist—I’ve made an appointment to remove my IUD and plan to schedule a vasectomy for my husband. Yep, you read that right. Because after all that I’ve gone through, it’s about time he steps up!
I’m officially done with the endless juggling of my reproductive health. No more sniff hormones or ugh cramps from IUD placement. After major surgeries and a body that feels like it’s been through the wringer, I’ve earned a break. My uterus has been through more battles than a soldier, and if it were a book, it would be titled “Frankenstein.” Meanwhile, my husband’s vas deferens are as pristine as a brand-new toy (and yes, saying “vas deferens” is oddly satisfying).
Unless I get my way! My plan involves him meeting with a urologist while I prepare a stash of frozen peas. I’ll remind him of the three significant surgeries I’ve endured to bring our kids into the world and the hormone rollercoaster I’ve been on. I’m all out of “cut me open and put me back together” favors!
This isn’t a tirade against gender roles; I know it’s not my husband’s fault he doesn’t have a uterus. I’m just pointing fingers at biology. My reproductive journey has been a long and winding road, and I’m certain the toll it’s taken has lasting effects.
During my informal polling of friends and online strangers, I’ve gathered plenty of anecdotes about the impact of years spent on prescription drugs and hormonal treatments. One woman claimed that her depression lifted after ditching birth control. Another noted her cycles improved when left alone. Some even rediscovered their libido (hello, va-voom!). Many are on the hunt for the right contraceptive while balancing their physical and mental well-being.
I’ve made my decision. I want that vasectomy scheduled for this fall! And I assure you, my dear husband, my lady parts will be eternally grateful and ready to show it!
This article was originally published on September 9, 2015.
Summary:
The author humorously reflects on the uneven distribution of reproductive responsibilities between partners and shares her decision to have her husband get a vasectomy after a series of personal health challenges. She emphasizes the importance of equality in parenting and reproductive choices while playfully recounting her experiences with fertility treatments.