10 Strategies for Being the Daughter-in-Law Your Mother-in-Law Admires

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Dear Daughter-in-Law,

Navigating the relationship with your mother-in-law can often feel like walking a tightrope. While I appreciate all the advice out there about how to handle us MILs, there are a few important “guidelines” you might want to keep in mind if we’re going to foster a harmonious relationship. Here goes:

1. Mean What You Say: If you tell me I’m “welcome anytime,” please don’t then complain on social media about how I’m “always at your house.” If you genuinely mean it, great! If not, let’s establish some boundaries. I didn’t realize visits would require an appointment.
2. Pick Up the Phone: I’m not a telemarketer trying to sell you a timeshare. I’m your spouse’s mother, and a little respect would go a long way. If you can’t chat, just let me know you’re busy.
3. Respect My Time: I love my grandchildren dearly, but I’m not your on-call babysitter. If you need help, give me a heads-up so I can rearrange my plans—just as I promise to do for you when you call.
4. Communicate Openly: If there’s something bothering you about me, please address it directly instead of talking behind my back. My child deserves to be out of the middle of any conflicts.
5. Keep It Civil: Passive-aggressive remarks don’t help anyone. Complimenting my home while implying your own struggles with housekeeping is unnecessary. My clean space is not a jab at your parenting.
6. Thoughtful Gifting: When it comes to presents, please steer clear of clothing or decor that clashes with my style. Gift certificates or homemade items from the kids are always a hit.
7. Let Me Spend My Money: If I want to spoil the grandkids with gifts, it’s my prerogative. It’s not a competition, and I’m not trying to make you feel inadequate.
8. Understand My Role: I genuinely want my son/daughter to be happy, but I am, and will always be, the mother. If life events ever separate you, I’ll still be here to support my child.
9. Value My Experience: Remember, I raised an amazing individual who you chose to marry. While I may not be current on all parenting trends, I’ve got a wealth of experience that could be beneficial. Maybe consider listening to my advice occasionally.
10. No Control Here: I’m not trying to control your decisions; I simply want what’s best for my family. Your spouse is still my child, and sharing him/her is part of family dynamics. Embrace it gracefully.

So, what do you say? How about I take care of the kids this weekend so you can enjoy a night out? Just promise me that the evening won’t be filled with complaints about me, alright?

For additional insights on family dynamics, check out this blog post. If you’re looking for at-home insemination kits, BabyMaker is an excellent resource. And for understanding the IVF process, Parents.com has some great information.

In summary, building a positive relationship with your mother-in-law requires clear communication, mutual respect, and understanding. By following these tips, you can create a more harmonious family environment.