Some moments in parenting are destined for the “oh no” hall of fame, and this one is a champion. We all know that the drawers beside our beds are sacred spaces. They’re reserved for those intimate items we prefer to keep out of sight. You know, the kind of things that belong to the realm of adult fun—think condoms, lube, handcuffs, and of course, our beloved vibrators.
I’m not shy about owning a couple of vibrators. In fact, I’ve even taken on the role of a DIY “Vibrator Fairy.” For my sister’s 21st birthday, I put together a quirky care package that included a cute little vibrator. The saleswoman at Toyland, a quirky shop in the Lower East Side, suggested a sweet little introduction piece—a vibrant, pink bear that buzzed. What a way to kick off adulthood!
I even took my gifting to the international level once. After college, my best friend decided to teach English in South Korea. With no language skills and a lack of romantic prospects, I thought a little something special was in order. So, I found the most amusing yet functional gift: a small, hot pink vibrator named “Buzzy Buddy.” She adored it and joked about taking her new “boyfriend” out for drinks. In hindsight, if Instagram had existed back then, Buzzy Buddy would have had a following with all his adventures documented!
Generally, I see sex and its accessories as a source of humor and joy. However, this perspective was challenged one fateful day when my worlds collided in a most unexpected way.
As a stay-at-home mom, my days are filled with the antics of my two kids. My 5-year-old is off at school, while my 18-month-old, Max, is my constant companion. He’s in that delightful phase where opening and closing drawers is his favorite pastime. One morning, as I attempted to brush my teeth, Max decided to explore my nightstand.
I was only half-aware of his activities, focusing instead on my eyebrows. Suddenly, I glanced over just in time to see him pulling out my lavender vibrator. My heart dropped. Before I could react, he held it to his ear and chirped, “Hell-o! Hell-o!”
And that, dear readers, was the day my darling toddler answered my vibrator.
This article originally appeared on Your Tango. For more engaging stories on parenting and beyond, check out our other posts, like this one on terms and conditions.
In summary, navigating parenthood can lead to some hilariously awkward situations, like when your little one mistakes your vibrator for a phone. While it’s essential to embrace the fun and laughter in life, it’s also crucial to stay informed about family planning and home insemination options. For more information on these topics, visit RESOLVE or check out Make a Mom for expert insights and resources.