A few weeks back, my in-laws took my rambunctious toddler for a night, allowing my partner and me to enjoy some anniversary celebrations. The following day, we visited my parents to say goodbye to my two younger brothers—one headed to law school in Oregon, and the other off to Australia for a year. We capped off the whirlwind weekend with a family gathering at my in-laws’ house that Sunday. It was a jam-packed schedule, to say the least.
By the time Sunday night rolled around, our little one was completely worn out. A night with the grandparents and no naps can do that to a 2-year-old. You might think that a tired toddler would sleep like a log, but if you are a parent, you know that exhaustion often leads to even more restless nights. Instead of peacefully drifting off, our little guy was fueled by a tidal wave of toddler energy. By the time he finally surrendered to sleep, we were equally as exhausted and overly optimistic about a later wake-up call the next morning. Spoiler alert: we were dead wrong.
Stage 1: Denial
Imagine you’re in a deep sleep, completely oblivious to the chaos about to unfold. Suddenly, a soft cry pierces the quiet, jolting you awake. As the wailing escalates, you fumble in the dark, wondering if it’s truly your toddler. Surely, he can’t be up already? You tightly shut your eyes, hoping the cries will magically stop. “It’s just a nightmare,” you think. “He’ll settle down.” But the cries only grow louder. You hear your partner stir. “Is that him?” Oh no, don’t engage! If you play it right, he might go check, allowing you to slip back into slumber. You smirk to yourself, thinking, “I picked the right partner.”
Stage 2: Frustration
You burrow deeper into your covers, but alas, the father-son conversation is now impossible to ignore. “What’s wrong?” “Mommy!” “Do you want a song?” “No, Mommy!” “How about some water?” “No! Mommy!” Your frustration bubbles up as you realize that all day your child wanted his dad, but now that you crave sleep, he suddenly wants you! Ugh! Your partner comes back and says, “He wants you.” You let your annoyance show, dramatically throwing off the covers and sighing loudly, “Ugh!”
Stage 3: Bargaining
With a heavy heart, you roll out of bed, steeling yourself for the trek to your toddler’s room. There he is, standing in his crib like a tiny jailbird. He points to the chair beside him and demands, “Song!” Here we go. “Okay, one song, then it’s back to sleep.” You croak out the A, B, C’s (the shortest song, of course) and wonder why your raspy, middle-of-the-night voice is so captivating to him. Just as you think you’re off the hook, he interrupts with, “Water!” You find yourself on a merry-go-round of drinks, kisses, hugs, and songs.
Stage 4: Despair
“I’ll never sleep again,” you think as you slump in the chair next to his crib, resting your head against the railing, tears threatening to spill. You glance at your toddler, who seems to be losing his mind, jumping and laughing with glee. He can sleep whenever he pleases, while you mourn the hours of sleep slipping away. You blink back tears as you count them silently, wishing for peace.
Stage 5: Acceptance
You wipe away the tears and scoop up your toddler, who promptly snuggles his adorable little head against your shoulder. As you return to your room, you lay him down beside you. “You can stay in Mommy and Daddy’s bed for the rest of the night, but you have to sleep nicely.” You chuckle at the absurdity of it all. What does “sleep nicely” even mean? You snuggle in beside him, thinking, “For tonight, this is actually quite nice.” It’s only when a tiny foot unexpectedly connects with your face at 4:30 a.m. that you remember what you meant by “sleep nicely.”
For more tips on parenting and navigating sleepless nights, check out our other blog posts on home insemination and pregnancy resources, such as this excellent source for those looking to start their family journey. If you’re interested in a family-in-a-box approach, BabyMaker is a great option. And for more insights on privacy and how we handle your information, visit our privacy policy.
In summary, the journey of parenting a sleepless toddler is fraught with emotional ups and downs. From denial to acceptance, each stage brings its own unique challenges. Yet, amidst the chaos and exhaustion, there are moments of joy to cherish, even if they come with an unexpected foot to the face.