When I was a kid, my grandmother had this quirky habit of claiming she was 29 whenever someone asked her age. Sometimes it was a playful jest, and other times, people bought it. She was a youthful grandma—only 39 when I was born—and always looked fabulous for her age. My aunts had their own age-related fibs, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my mom joined the fun occasionally.
Growing up, I observed the women in my life treating their ages like a secret to be guarded, as if they were embarrassed about the passage of time. I thought it was funny—until I hit 40. At first, that number felt daunting, and I almost considered the same age-defying tactics. But after some reflection, I decided there was no way I’d hide my age; being 40 was far superior to being 29.
The Wild Ride of My 20s
The 20s are a wild ride. I spent most of that decade clinging to my childhood while trying to figure out how to adult properly. When I hosted a dinner party, I felt like I was just playing dress-up in a grown-up world. Milestones loomed large: finding a partner, getting engaged, planning a wedding, buying a house, and starting a family. I was always comparing myself to others, feeling like a late bloomer who was perpetually lost. I gripped my way through those ten years, questioning every choice—big and small—like whether that red dress was too much for a first date.
Looking back, I chuckle at my panic over turning 30. The stress of that milestone was far worse than anything I felt about 40. At 29, I felt like a total underachiever—unmarried, childless, and not exactly thriving in my career. I convinced myself that time was running out to start a family, and I was still searching for my soulmate or passion in life. I envisioned a gloomy future, complete with a decrepit house at the end of the street where I’d hoard cats and dogs. My confidence was at an all-time low.
Embracing My Fabulous 40s
Fast forward to my fabulous 40s, and everything has shifted. Now, I genuinely feel a sense of relaxation. The pressure is off! I’m married, I have a wonderful child, and guess what? Going back to school turned out to be the best decision ever. I finally discovered my passion for writing. I may have been late to some milestones, but they turned out to be less significant than my younger self thought.
My 40s are shaping up to be a decade of joy. I’m officially done with school—no more algebra or term papers. I have a career I adore, which means I can actually afford decent groceries instead of surviving on ramen noodles and grilled cheese. The frantic race to find a life partner and have kids within a tight timeline has vanished. I cherish my daughter and have effectively obliterated my biological clock. Now, intimacy is just for fun! Plus, I only have a few more years of dealing with my period—yay for that!
The Wisdom of Age
The best part of being in my 40s is that I feel youthful, vibrant, and healthy, yet I possess the wisdom that comes from years of experience. One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is to prioritize my own well-being. No more Twinkies for dinner or late-night escapades. Instead, I focus on exercise, mindfulness, and avoiding unnecessary drama. I’ve also learned to fulfill my own needs rather than waiting for someone else to fill the gaps. Mentally and physically, I’m in the best shape of my life. It’s amusing to think that at 29, I dreaded aging, but now that I’m here, I see middle age as a treasure. I’m ready to flaunt my age like a sparkling crown.
I’m proud of how far I’ve come and excited about the future. Instead of stressing about conforming to societal standards, I can now daydream about adventures, exploring the world, and enjoying a fulfilling life with my daughter. So when someone asks my age, I’ll confidently share it. I’ve learned invaluable lessons in my youth, but I’m relieved to have that chapter behind me.
Resources for Family Building
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Summary
Reaching 40 comes with a sense of freedom and self-acceptance that the 20s simply can’t match. Transitioning from the pressure of meeting societal expectations to embracing personal happiness is a profound shift. With newfound confidence and wisdom, life becomes about enjoying adventures, nurturing passions, and celebrating milestones—on your own terms.