As I flipped through Jamie Carter’s book, “Absolutely Yes,” I found myself reflecting on the concept of personal setbacks. “Absolutely Yes” is far from a failure—it’s witty, motivating, and downright entertaining, reinforcing my admiration for Jamie over the years. However, a particular insight she shared about setbacks resonated deeply with me.
As a woman in my 30s, I’ve reached a point where many significant life choices have been made—choices that often lead to scrutiny from both myself and others. This has prompted me to ponder what it really means to “fail.” There have been moments when I’ve questioned my decisions, clenching my fists and wishing for the best outcome while realizing that there’s no rewind button in adulthood. Every decision comes with its own set of consequences. Talk about pressure!
In “Absolutely Yes,” Jamie offers a refreshing perspective on her divorce from her partner, Sam. Instead of viewing it as a failure, she highlights the positives. She acknowledges their decade-long relationship that blessed her with motherhood—one that ended not in bitterness but with mutual respect and a strong commitment to co-parenting. While the divorce was undoubtedly tough, Jamie chooses to see it as a success, embracing the new family dynamic and cherishing the memories they created together. I admire that attitude.
I can relate to Jamie’s experiences of navigating life’s unpredictable twists. I, too, have felt the weight of expectations, especially when I decided to pause my career aspirations to stay home when my daughter was born six years ago. During my time as a stay-at-home parent, I often felt society’s gaze upon me, labeling me a failure for not working outside the home.
I can’t count how many times I’ve seen disappointment flash across faces when I revealed my choice to stay home, as if I had let everyone down. Some people even bluntly questioned why I wasn’t “utilizing” my advanced degree or claimed they would grow bored in my position. It always felt condescending and intrusive. While I know I should take other people’s opinions lightly, self-doubt sometimes seeped in.
Even though I cherish the moments spent with my children, re-entering the workforce has been a challenge. There are days when I feel overwhelmed by the closed doors that appear before me, tempted to throw a tantrum over what could have been.
But Jamie’s perspective inspired me to reconsider the choices I’ve made regarding motherhood over my career. My professional path may not align with my initial expectations, but I take pride in being a dedicated mom. The countless days spent with my kids, while challenging, have also been incredibly rewarding. My life may be on a different timeline than I had envisioned, but that doesn’t diminish its value.
Jamie’s approach to setbacks has encouraged me to practice self-compassion. I’ve realized that not everyone will agree with my decisions, and that’s perfectly okay. I know that each choice I make is deliberate and thoughtful, and I can trust that this pause in my career will eventually reveal its purpose. I believe that every setback—each dashed dream and broken heart—is shaping a future that I might not have envisioned otherwise. One day, I’ll look back and see that what I once considered failures were actually vital chapters in my story.
Just like Jamie did.
In the words of Jamie Carter, “Standing up for ourselves as we would for a friend is challenging yet immensely rewarding. Sometimes, it pays off.”
For those exploring the journey of parenthood or facing their own crossroads, resources like March of Dimes offer valuable insights into fertility treatments and family planning. If you’re considering your options, check out Home Insemination Kit for expert guidance on home insemination. You can also find more relatable stories and advice in our other posts at Home Insemination Kit Blog.
In summary, setbacks don’t define us; how we perceive and respond to them does. Embracing our choices and practicing self-kindness can transform our understanding of success and failure. Let’s redefine what it means to pursue our dreams, no matter the path we take.